Catch-All

Week in Review

2012-01-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

This week? Busy. No, that's not new stuff. Actually, I typically have a really laid back kind of life, minus spending every day and the work site. Except now it's the house, not the work site. That makes me happy. We still went there a few times last week to make sure everything was ready for the open house on Thursday. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Monday was my grandma's 80th birthday party. We had a big shindig with the whole family, complete with Grandma's beloved "program". I'll have to dedicate an entire post to that at some point. Anyhow, that was fun. Ellie even participated in the program. She sang Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star with her second (?) cousin, Mia. It's the first time she's performed on purpose and she seemed to enjoy it. Did I bring along my camera? Nope.

Tuesday was a family sealing session at the temple. My grandpa got permission to use the temple president's special event or special guest (or something) dining room, so that was something new. We joked about opening up the china hutch and scraping our meals on the pretty plates rather than using the standard issue cafeteria plates. We didn't.

Wednesday was the circus. The girls had never been there and I would be surprised if it's been less than twenty years since I've been. It was a great time. Ellie really liked anything with animals in it. The dancing elephants and the standing tigers were a favorite. She also seemed to appreciate the man who balanced on stacked chairs. His costume was my favorite, as it seemed to be both sparkly and masculine. but I suppose "masculine" is relative when everyone else is wearing bejeweled leotards that leave nothing to the imagination. Maya's easy favorite was the jumping Afghan dogs. She thought they were pretty cool and bounced around the whole time. My own favorite was probably the dancers. They surprised me. They came out and started their little dance, which was unimpressive. A couple of them were completely out of sync. I wondered why on earth the circus couldn't find better dancers than that. Then they each wrapped a leg around a rope and started climbing. Then they twirled and flipped and spun in midair. They were really good at the aerial dancing. It was cool to watch. Again, did I bring along my camera? Of course not.

Thursday was open house day. Yahoo! It felt like graduation day. We started the day by spending gross amounts of money on new paint and a sprayer. Ouch. At the open house Eric and I both took a minute to speak. I enjoyed it. A few other people thought it was cute, too. Having other people walk through my house was also fun for me. I like being complimented on a job well done. :) We spent a couple of hours after the open house trying to get our new home prepped for painting. Having the girls along was so...helpful. Sure. I still didn't remember the camera.

Today we had my sister in law come watch the girls so we could finish the paint prep. I was there for about two hours and Eric's been at it fr seven hours...and counting. Paint prep is a beast, but it's worth it to have everything ready for using a paint sprayer. It's tedious today, but we'll appreciate that we did it before a week is out. Maybe tomorrow we can finish the painting and shop for a couch. Or price blinds. Maybe I'll remember to bring my camera.

Open House!!!

2012-01-19T10:40:00.001-07:00

So, you know that house we've been working on for almost seven months and that I swore we would never finish? Yeah, it's done. :) The open house is scheduled (insert my stupidly high-pitched and excited scream) and everything is set. Anyone who wants to come is welcome. You'll be impressed with us. Seriously. We done good.

Now that all the work is done we just have to wait for the open house to move in. Most of the families are (I think) moving in that evening. We're waiting an extra week so we can paint some color on the walls. It's going to be wonderful!

Sleeping Beauty: a tragedy

2012-01-15T16:15:00.002-07:00

This post is waaaaaay late. I went to see Ballet West's production of The Sleeping Beauty almost a year ago. It was my first, and probably last, experience at the ballet. But that's not today's story. Today's story is about how the princess got a raw deal.

This trip to see the ballet was an activity with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. We went early enough to catch the explanation from the artistic director and the choreographer before general seating began. Thank heaven we did. I would have been completely lost during the final act of the ballet had we not been there. It also gave me something to smirk at while we watched the final act.

The ballet was set in France. We were told that the costuming for the first act was taken from styles of the late 1600s. The costuming, by the way, was fantastic. Fabrics and construction are something I understand. Dancing, well...not so much. But the costumes really were lovely.

Anyway, the princess Aurora is born, is cursed by the bad fairy, saved by a good fairy, pricks her finger 16 years later, and falls asleep for 100 years. The rest of the castle also falls asleep. Being in an enchanted sleep for 100 years can't be great, but the worst is yet to come.

A century later, the prince (obviously very much the junior of Aurora) finds his way into the castle and immediately falls in love with the sleeping princess. He kisses her, the entire castle wakes up, and everyone seems to think that's good reason for the prince and Aurora to get married. I suppose worse decisions have been made when choosing a spouse.

The third act shows the royal family and the wedding guests in their new, modern clothing. The styles were very fashionable for their time. The costumes were perfect for the late 1700s. Wait...the late 1700s...in France. That wasn't necessarily the best time and place to be royalty or aristocracy. I kept waiting for the revolutionaries to storm the castle and take the royal family to a "popular" gathering place for the nobility of the time: La Guillotine. Sorry Aurora; sucks to be you. Although it would have made for a much more interesting third act.

Recent Revelations

2012-01-14T15:22:00.000-07:00

It is possible to be ignorant of your own pregnancy.
I'm not talking about the woman who didn't know she was pregnant and gets the stunning news that her nasty gas pains are really contractions. I'm talking about me, the one who has known for many months that there is a bun in my oven. So much focus and attention has been on getting the new house done that all thoughts of having and actual baby have been on the back burner. Wait, I'm having a baby in a few months? There will be a third child in my home before the end of April? And it needs to be cared for? Maybe I should go buy diapers or a crib or something.

Some girls act stupid to attract boys. On purpose.
I was watching a bonus feature on the last Harry Potter movie called The Women of Harry Potter. JK Rowling was complimenting Hermione's character for never "playing the game." What game is that? She very soon explained that Hermione never pretended she was less intelligent than she really was in order to be accepted or to attract a boy. Girls do that? I was shocked. The idea had never occurred to me. I always assumed the stupid girls in high school really were, in fact, stupid. Why else would they act that way? I never thought about it because I wasn't interested in boys who wanted stupid girls. That's not to say I never acted like an idiot around a boy I liked (ask my husband to tell you what I did the first time we met), just that it was never a choice I made. Eric thinks it's funny that I was so surprised to learn some or most of the girls who acted dumb were just pretending.

I want less.
For most of my life I've had grand ideas about the things I want in life. They included the large, beautiful house in a pristine neighborhood, a fancy car, frequent and exotic vacations, and all the money that goes along with that kind of lifestyle. None of that is bad or wrong in any way, it's just not what I want anymore. I want a house that is comfortable and adequate for my family's needs. I do not want a house that owns me. It's more important to have my home filled with love and laughter than filled with things. I want to live in a neighborhood of good people who like and help each other and who take pride in maintaining what they have. I do not want to live in a neighborhood where everyone is keeping up with the Joneses. I also do not want to be the Joneses. Mostly I just want to be satisfied and content with what I have rather than striving for the next bigger and better thing. I want to want what I have and I want my children to value that, too.

We're going to have a house.
Yes, we've been building the house for almost seven months and, yes, we've been putting in about 42 hours a week between the two of us, but it is NOW starting to get really real. Really. Yesterday was our last Saturday of working on the house before we move in. FINALLY!!! It's just weird to think that the thing which has taken up so very, very much of our time for the better part of a year is nearly done. And then we will be entirely responsible for that home. Strange as it may sound, one of the things I'm really looking forward to is that our monthly check for living space will go to a mortgage company rather than a property management company. Woohoo!

Name Trauma

2012-01-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

This is for posterity. Someday I may look back on this and laugh. May. Besides, our first son may want to know how we decided on his name, so here we go.

We had once decided that we would name a son after Eric, but it didn't feel right and I picked up my 100,001 Baby Names book to find a suitable alternative. I ended up reading through every single boy name in the book and writing down any and all that struck my fancy even a little bit. With easily traceable (great grandfather) Irish blood, I was in favor of an Irish name. Connor and Declan were two I really liked. Eric nixed them so I moved on. To say it was a tedious process to read, write, and strikeout unwanted names is a bit of an understatement.

Eventually I got to the Qs and wrote down Quinton. I was almost positive it would get the thumbs down, but it turned out that Eric really liked it. Just to be sure, I finished off the alphabet. We still liked Quinton the best.

Now I must explain something. Eric and I have always preferred the more traditional spelling of names. It makes things easier. Except for Maya. For some reason it seems that most people can't wrap their head around her name and its spelling. They say MAY-uh rather than MY-uh, despite the traditional spelling. Anyway. So the more traditional spelling of the name is Quentin. It's the first name of Quentin L. Cook, an apostle of the Lord. I like that. It's also the first name of this guy:

Thanks, imdb.com for the picture. The fact that this one was chosen to represent him only proves my point.

He creeps me out down to the cellular level. Did you ever see him on Alias? I almost can't watch the episodes he's in because I spend so much of them cringing under a blanket. Creepy just doesn't cover it sufficiently. But none of that has anything to do with why we chose to go with Quinton over Quentin.

The book I have shows Quinton as a name separate from Quentin. We thought Quinn would be a great nickname and preferred the Q-u-i-n spelling for that reason. The problem is that Eric and I think of the spelling of the full name in two different ways. One of us sees it as Q-u-i-n-t-E-n and the other sees it as Q-u-i-n-t-O-n. Could be worse. I thought. The book shows both as options (unhelpful) and both of us have a serious aversion to the way the other one spells the name (really unhelpful).

Other spellings have been suggested, but ultimately tossed out. I didn't think it was so bad with an "i" for Q-u-i-n-t-i-n. That probably won't happen. The other suggestion I've gotten is to just name the baby Quinn if that's what we're going to call him. Neither Eric nor I have names that were easily nickname-able as kids. I dearly wanted a nickname, but the only one anyone could come up with was "Jordy". I wasn't ready to be called by the same name as a guy who wears a spray painted banana clip over his eyes. So sue me; I was a child. Anyhow, we've always liked the idea of having name that could easily be shortened. Maya didn't end up getting that. Oops. Maybe someday she'll forgive us. However, we like that the option will be available to Quinn/Quinten/Quinton.

Both of us have our opinions about which spelling looks more "normal". We both have our opinions on what looks the best. We also have our opinions about how people are or are not going to mispronounce or spell his name depending on the spelling we choose. We've come to no conclusions because our discussions/debates/arguments on the matter are circular and get us exactly nowhere. Neither of us are willing to give in and neither of us are willing to scrap the name and start again. Figuring this out should be fun. At least we have another three months.

Delusions of Grandeur

2011-12-30T13:04:00.000-07:00

It appears I'm quite skilled at deceiving myself. I'm attempting to purge the house of unnecessary items (you know, for the move to the new house. The one that will never be finished because I'll be working on it without moving in until the day I die.) and started with the girls' clothes. While sorting through items I found a ~~gross amount of~~ few summer clothes that would still fit right now. I was close to keeping them because "well, they could wear them again because summer is just around the corner." Sigh. If only that were really true.

The Christmas Eve That Could

2011-12-26T09:37:00.001-07:00

The days leading up to Christmas are always a tad stressful. You know the story of the little engine that could? It looked like he would fail but the engine kept on plugging away until he reached his goal. My goal was a fun day finished off with a relaxing bath.

It didn't start off too bad. The alarm didn't go off, so Eric was later than planned at the work site. Luckily, attendance was not mandatory on Christmas Eve. No, the house isn't done yet. Sigh. The girls and I went to a family Christmas party at a church building. That was fun minus Maya crying her face off when anyone else so much as looked at her. Oh, and losing Ellie in a strange church close to a busy road. Twice. But it was really cute watching Ellie "play" the organ for everyone to sing along when she wasn't hiding in the nursery.

Shopping for stocking stuffers came after the party. I couldn't decide what store to go to and drove around with the girls until Ellie chose a store and I backtracked to get there. I had no desire to enter a Walmart the day before Christmas. It's generally filled with women stressed to the breaking point and dazed-looking men who haven't done a lick of shopping. Not a pretty picture. Anyhow, the grocery store didn't look too terrible. The Christmas candy and toy aisles were kind of blocked up. That I could deal with. The rough part was the girls crawling over each other in the plastic car part of the cart. That's not out of the ordinary, except this time they got tangled up and stuck beyond any hope of getting +out under their own steam. The resulting screams caused other shoppers to abandon their carts or walk out of their checkout lines and stop the obvious child abuse going on in the main aisle. No police were involved.

The children napped once we got home. Sweet, sweet little girls. I took a little computer break before gathering everything we needed to spend the night at Grandma's house. As I thought about what I still needed it occurred to me that I had not received my mother-in-law's gift. The tracking number said before 4:30 on the 24th, so I hadn't checked for it. The time was 2:45. I looked up the tracking number again and found that the package had been delivered the day before to a reception desk and signed for by someone named D Roberts. Hmm... There is a business that shares our street address but with the S and E switched. They've previously received a package for me and I've previously received a package for them. Grumble. I called the shipping company to confirm where the package was delivered and drove to the warehouse where I assumed it was, hoping against hope that someone would be there. At 3 pm on a Saturday...which was also Christmas Eve. My hopes were not high. No one was there. The shipping company called me back twice to tell me what I feared; nothing could be done until Tuesday. Because I'm pregnant I'm allowed to cry whenever I feel like it. So I cried. The tears really came when the lady told me they would be giving feedback to the driver's supervisor. I told her I didn't want it to prevent anyone having a merry Christmas. She told me it wouldn't. So now I get to look forward to Tuesday when the driver will pick up the package from the business and then drive it over to me. I'm afraid he'll actually wait at the door to deliver a personal apology. Yeah, that wouldn't be awkward.

After we packed up and headed to my in-law's house I was able to relax a little. We ate dinner, watched Cinderella with the girls, played with the dog, read the Christmas story, and got the girls ready for bed. My brilliant plan was to get the girls to sleep (not a difficult task) and have a nice bath in their FABULOUS jetted tub while everyone else went downstairs to play a game. We put the girls down at 8:30 and I anticipated being in a lovely soak by 9. Ha! Maya decided she didn't want to be asleep yet and started crying, which kept Ellie awake. I cradled Maya on the big bed and willed them both to go to sleep. When Maya finished her bottle she threw it aside and started babbling. I heard a shooshing sound from Ellie's bed in the corner, followed by Maya giggling in my arms. It was pretty cute, but not conducive to getting the girls to sleep. Fast forward to 10 pm. By this time I had Maya down in her bed, but Ellie was wide awake. I was lying down on the wood floor next to Ellie's mattress and holding her hand, praying for the umpteenth time that she would just GO TO SLEEP so I could have my stupid bath.

By 10:30 both girls were off to dreamland and I was getting ready for a long soak. I filled the tub with warm water and added a few bubbles. After a full five seconds of bliss I decided to turn on the jets. I found I didn't like them as well as I'd anticipated and the volume of bubbles had increased to as many as I wanted. I pushed the button to turn the jets off. They didn't turn off. I pushed and I pushed and the jets kept going. About the time the bubbles had risen above the rim of the tub I knew I was in trouble. I opened the drain to keep the jets from churning out more bubbles, threw on some clothes, and ran down the stairs for reinforcements. When I told them it was frothy I was not exaggerating. The button was stuck enough that we had to cut power to the bathroom to shut the jets off. I was told not to drain the tub. Oops.

In the end I got my bath and had an enjoyable day. Ellie did wake up at 1:30 and stay awake until 4:30, but that was technically Christmas day so it doesn't count here. :) I hope everyone had a great Christmas and has a happy new year.

Almost There

2011-11-30T23:17:00.001-07:00

The whole house building process just turned a sharp corner. It's not that anything different has happened, there's just been a shift in my thinking. For the past couple of months I've felt like we were going to be building a house for the rest our lives but never moving in. Not a particularly pleasant thought. The idea of caulking doorways into eternity gives me nightmares.

We got word that, if everything goes according to schedule, we can have the interiors of all the homes completed and inspected on December 20. Wait...Dec. 20? That's before Christmas. Holy crap; we could be done (but not moved in) before Christmas! Sweet! That picture above is almost three weeks old. We now have counter tops and the carpet padding is down. I assume the actual carpet will be installed tomorrow. Appliances will be delivered in five days. The stonework is started on our house and one other. Work on the stone has progressed well beyond what's shown in the picture below. The best part? I only have to prep one more house for paint. :) I don't love touch-up work, but it feels like the downhill slide rather than the uphill struggle through mud.

Anyhow, everything seems suddenly real. Now i just have to get my tail in gear and pack up the house for our very last move. Ever. That's cause for celebration.

All's Well That Ends Well

2011-10-11T14:54:00.002-07:00

Today turned out a heck of a lot differently than I'd planned. I had a completely different blog post all written up and ready to publish. I didn't do it, but I will give you a little taste of it.

Is it weird to document a miscarriage before anything has really happened?
and
I've had seven weeks of uncertainty and I'm ready to get it over with, no matter the outcome. I started the grieving process on Sunday and I'd like to be done with it as soon as possible.

Nice, huh? The past few days have been rather beastly. Well, it's really been the past seven weeks but the last four days have been the worst. The kind of conflicted emotions and confusion I've had running around in my brain since Friday have been maddening.

Let me back up a little bit and give an idea of what's been going on. Ever since Maya was born I've wondered when it would be time for another baby. My monthly cycle has always started back up four weeks after delivering a baby. Not so with Maya. This time I had a nine month break. And it was glorious. As soon as my cycle started again I started to really feel like that meant it was time to add another baby to the batch. In June I talked about it with Eric and we decided to wait until we were at least finished framing the houses and until his raise came through in July. Looking at Eric's benefits package showed that the insurance is only limited benefits and not major medical. Dang it. The total maternity benefit is a whopping $250. No, I did not forget any zeros on that number. $250. We thought it would be best to wait for Eric's raise so we could afford to pay for a major medical plan.

When it came time for the raise (late July) Eric was informed that his company was not giving any raises until at least the end of this year/beginning of next year. We did not upgrade to a better insurance. A few weeks after that I found myself sitting in the bathroom looking at two pink lines and realizing that it really must be time for a new baby, because we would be having one regardless of whether or not we intended to have one so soon.

After a week of shock and utter terror about how to pay for the child I was able to just be happy to be carrying a new baby. I'd been happy about it before, but the shock and terror were mixed in, too. I got one week of peace before the fear started to set in.

At six or seven weeks along I'm used to a small amount of brownish discharge. At six weeks it was reddish discharge and a lot more than I've ever had. I couldn't quite tell, but it also looked like there was a small amount of tissue in the toilet. I'm a wait-and-see kind of girl, so I decided to let nature take its course rather than going to the doctor. When nothing else happened I figured it was just jitters at something I hadn't experienced before.

Several more weeks continued like that with little scares here and there, such as the loss of 11 pounds of weight. That was also out of the ordinary. I put the first OB appointment off until I was 11 weeks along because I wanted to delay all the lovely exams (pap smear, breast exam, pelvic exam, and blood work) as much as possible and also have a better chance at hearing the heartbeat. I expected to hear the lovely sound at that appointment. It was not to be. However, my doctor is awesome and I got to skip everything except the pelvic exam because I had them all so recently with Maya. I was really disappointed not to hear the heartbeat. I had expressed my concern for losing the baby to my doctor. He told me we could wait two weeks and try again or we could order an ultrasound. I chose to wait because I simply don't have the money to pay upwards of $350 for an ultrasound.

I waited as patiently as possible for the next two weeks. I fully expected to hear that sweet heartbeat. I was once again disappointed. We decided not to wait another two weeks and not to do the blood work. An ultrasound seemed the best option, even if we couldn't afford it. After seven weeks of fear and uncertainty I was ready for it to end. I'd bounced back and forth between believing the baby was alive or dead, real or not, that I was just tired of it. If the baby was alive that would be great. If the baby had died then I wanted to get everything in motion so I could start moving forward with life.

The weekend was brutal. I felt strongly that the baby had died or had never been viable and my body was clinging to it. That happened with my first pregnancy. By the time this morning rolled around I was livid that I hadn't heard back about the appointment that was supposedly scheduled for sometime during the day. Good thing I called a third time or I would still be waiting and miserable. I spent a lot of time crying on Monday night. I was grieving and angry; I didn't want to have to go through this again. At least this time I knew that I would be able to have healthy children and I already have two that run me ragged.

Even though I only ended up with three hours of sleep last night, the day turned out beautifully. I did not expect a good time with the ultrasound. I was prepared to hear them tell me the baby had died and to wait in the exam room while they called my doctor so we could decide what step to take next. I stared at the ceiling while my mom held my hand (Eric was not able to get away from work). They said nothing that made a lot of sense to me until one told the other (who is in training)to measure the heart rate. My spirits soared as I thought, "Measure the heart rate? That means there's something to measure!" When they didn't say anything else I squashed my hopes by telling myself that it was something standard that needed to happen whether or not a heart beat was present. A minute or so later one of them said, "Your baby does have a heartbeat!" And then I cried. The relief that washed over me and the enormous gratitude that a viable baby was growing inside me was overcoming. I've been on the table and heard that my baby has died. I don't ever want to do that again. Words can't express how blessed I feel to have another healthy baby growing.

So now I'm back to my usual self. I'm happy, though a bit headachy from lack of sleep and the loss of LOTS of tears over the past several days. I'll take it. The first 13 weeks of this pregnancy were pretty terrible, but it looks like the second trimester is starting sweetly. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Moving Forward

2011-10-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

I hope I don't get in trouble for this one. A few weeks ago I followed a link someone sent me. It took me to a blog post written about a serious subject. The writer made some excellent points about being sensitive to other people and the things they may be feeling. However, a thought kept popping up in my head as I read. "But no matter what happens to you, the world around you keeps on spinning."

We do need to watch what we say to other people and think about it before we open our mouths. I've said terrible things before simply because I let the words fall out my mouth without a thought. I'm really sorry for those times. The opposite side of the coin is that people are going to say things to a mass audience (Facebook, anyone?) with no intent to offend or make anyone sad. That's when we need to either let the comments roll off our backs or just let them go. It's human nature to think of ourselves first. For me, learning the fine art of moving on was as important to my happiness as learning to be mindful of others.

Child For Sale

2011-07-19T10:14:00.001-07:00

For sale: An almost 3 year old child with blonde curls, blue eyes, and an engaging smile.

Buyer requirements: Must be able to repeatedly say: "No. Mommy said no. Mommy said NO!" "Applesauce doesn't go on the floor." "Don't do that; it will hurt your sister!" "It's not nice to kick Mommy in the head." "That knife will hurt you!" "Go to bed." "Go back to bed." "Stay in your bed." "You need to stay in your bed." "Don't get out of your bed." "Go to sleep." "I'll take your milk away if you get out of bed." "If you get out of your bed again I'll _______." "We don't eat floor food."

Interested applicants should be able to provide for said child until I'm ready to pick her up...when she's 40.

*Disclaimer: I really hope I don't have to clarify that I am not actually selling my daughter, but there are people out there who would have me arrested for even joking about it. I'm not selling her. I still like her. When she's asleep.

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T13:36:00.002-07:00

I absolutely love this picture. It shows all of us together, it has Ellie and Maya's matching fish outfits, it documents Maya's first Fourth of July, there is a flag reflected in the window, and it will be the last Independence Day before we move into our new house. That's still several months off but I like to include it, especially when you consider that we had to strategically choose a spot on the house which doesn't display the toilet that's been on the porch for almost a month. Yeah.

I love that Ellie sat still enough to get a Nemo painted on her face and I loved Maya's reaction to getting a balloon. That is a face not to be missed so I'll have to try to get another shot of it. She doesn't sit very still for pictures. This is one of my favorite holidays and I'm glad I get to celebrate it with my favorite people. And the day isn't over yet!

Check It Out!

2011-06-09T17:05:00.012-07:00

I started up a portfolio blog when I was trying to market myself and my business. Since then it has become unnecessary for me to work (other than being a mommy), so I decided to change the idea behind the portfolio blog. Now it's the place where I keep track of the stuff I make and, usually, post tutorials of them. I'm also doing my very first giveaway! It's for flag hair clippies that are perfect for the 4th of July. Is it weird that I'm super excited to do a giveaway? Anyhow, check it out at http://goddessofsewing.blogspot.com and look at the giveaway!

Lest I Forget

2011-05-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ellie did something about a week ago that was so sweet I don't want to forget it. You all get to hear the story and I get a record of it. Win-win.

Maya had been teething for several days and the top right tooth just didn't seem to want to break through. The other three hadn't been much of a problem. At dinner we were surprised when Maya starting shrieking and crying for all she was worth. I knew it was the tooth. I'd been watching and waiting for it. I just didn't know it would be this painful. She was shaking with the pain and the screams. It was pretty heartbreaking.

I ran to find the tube of Baby Orajel to numb up those sad little gums. Ellie followed me and asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm looking for something to help baby Maya feel better." About then I found the tube and dashed off to take care of my baby's pain.

Just as I finished applying the Orajel we noticed Ellie walk in the room. "Help Maya," she said. Then Ellie stretched out her arms and held out a bottle of baby Tylenol in one hand and a medicine dropper in the other. It was the sweetest thing. I don't think I've ever been more proud of her. Now I just need to move the medicine. Apparently Ellie knows where it is and can get to it herself.

Hooray Today!

2011-05-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Do you know what today is? Do you? It's groundbreaking day for the house! Ta da! There's a little ceremony on one of the lots (not ours) with gold shovels and the whole bit. Eric and I will be taking a minute or two to share our thoughts on the program and then we all have punch and cookies. I'm not sure who else will be speaking, but there will be a few other people, too. I'm not sure when our foundation will be dug but that should happen fairly soon. We closed on the loan yesterday. It's so exciting that everything is in place to get started! We're not entirely sure yet of when we start framing. It should be in a month or so. We feel like we're getting started on a big adventure. It really is a new phase in our life together and we couldn't be happier.

The picture at the top is the land that, as of yesterday, is OURS! The finger in the corner is mine, also. The lens on our new camera is in the corner and I haven't gotten used to that yet. The picture to the right is our preliminary selection for the main stucco color and the stone. Eric and I both chose that color on our own. Twice. It was meant to be. We still need to choose another stucco color for the trim and several other color options. We haven't had our selection day yet, but we went in early to make the big decisions so that we will know exactly what we want when that day does come. I keep saying we're excited, but that really doesn't cover it. At all. There aren't really words.

Exercise!

2011-04-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

Just this afternoon I was bemoaning the bags I've had under my eyes since I was, like, 20 years old. If only I'd known about this exercise!!! If you don't want to watch the whole thing, just start at 1:40.

Are you thanking me for your more youthful skin yet?

Try, Try Again

2011-04-30T13:12:00.001-07:00

I still really want to win a Hapari swimsuit. I'm sure I will continue to want one until I actually get one. http://www.hapari.com/plus-size-swimwear

The Neighbors

2011-04-28T10:31:00.002-07:00

I'm not sure if I mentioned it here, but we met our future neighbors back in February. There was an open house for a Rural Housing Development group that had just finished building their houses. While we were there we met the people building on lot 20. They will be our next door neighbors. We didn't get much of a chance to speak with them, but it was cool to meet. Once June rolls around we'll be seeing a lot more of them. This will probably be the first time that we really get to know our next door neighbors. In the past we've always had up- or downstairs neighbors that we got to know better than the ones next door. It's just a lot easier to stay at the same house if you need to borrow a cup of sugar.

Thinking about our past neighbors made me realize that I have never made much mention of the people who shared our same living space. We had a lot of them over the past seven years. A LOT! Now that this particular phase of our life is about to come to a close, it's time. I'll list them in no particular order.

The Parents: It was much easier to go back to living with them than I expected.

The Single(ish) Mom: Her husband was having green card issues and living out of the country. Her son prepared me for what it would be like when I had my own toddler who enjoys screaming.

The Sunday Dinner Family: Whatever food it was they made every Sunday must have been edible, but it certainly didn't smell that way.

The Obscenity Screamers: I don't think they liked each other very much.

The Loud Intimacy Couple: They liked each other very, VERY much.

The Best Friends: We didn't lock the door separating our apartments.

The Bishop's Family: They'll be the last people we share with. It's nice to go out on a high note.

That's just a sampling. I'm excited to get to know the people around us. One reason I love the RHDC program so much is because you spend so much time with you neighbors before you ever move in.

Moving Forward

2011-04-06T14:49:00.000-07:00

Last night we had our first pre-construction meeting. Wahoo! We couldn't be more excited. I'll probably write more later, but for now we can just say that we like the people we'll be building with and we're excited to move forward. Our possible date to start framing is in June. I hope we can do it sooner than that, but June sounds pretty good. Then hopefully we can work fast enough to finish before cold weather sets in. We're thrilled!

A St. Patty's Day to Remember...Or Not.

2011-03-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

I love any little holiday with a new baby because the "first" anything is so fun. I was sad that I couldn't find the little romper Ellie wore on her first St. Patrick's day, so she wore what her cousin Daphne wore last year. Maya didn't disappoint at making the day memorable. She was her cute, happy little self all day long. It was a different story for me, though. We'll keep it short and simple by saying that at about 2 pm I sent a chat to Eric asking if we could return Ellie and get a refund. I was also considering calling my property manager and yelling at him, but I decided against that. I also didn't give Ellie back. Just in case you wondered.

The day actually turned out fine, though. I got the girls all dressed in green. Tangent: I dressed the girls in orange the day before to celebrate my Irish roots as an orangewoman. My great grandfather came over from Ireland and was Protestant before being baptized a Latter-Day Saint. Besides, it was fun to stretch it for another day. End tangent. We went to the library for story time. I had Ellie take off her pirate hat (one of our best ever finds at Walmart) because I thought there might be a St. Patrick's day theme. Know what the theme was? Yeah, it was pirates. I kicked myself a little for that. There was also a mom there with her two boys and they were all dressed in orange. I thought that was cool.

Because of my high level of irritation, the only other St. Patricky thing I did was have fun with my makeup. Do you see what I did? Green with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. That was all kinds of fun.

The only green thing about dinner was the lettuce in my salad. Dinner was devoid of potatoes, cabbage, and even corned beef (which I never choose to eat). Our family activity was going to Build-A-Bear to get Ellie a lovey for bedtime. Her current lovey is a hand belonging to either Eric or me. Not okay. She ended up getting a white cat named Kee Kat. Kee Kat wears a Tinkerbell dress, has a heartbeat, and sounds like Mommy and Daddy when her right paw is pressed. Last night's bedtime was better. Below is a picture of Ellie just after purchasing Kee Kat. She's pointing at the cat window and sporting her pirate hat.

Isn't Ellie's sweater wonderful? I think she'll get one more use from it before it's retired, and that's only because she kept it clean. See those flowers that go oh-so-perfectly with the St. Patrick's theme? After a washing each flower must be pressed open individually. There are 56. I discovered that fact when I put her flower sweater in the washing machine and got a spit wad sweater when I pulled it out of the dryer.

Animal Voiceovers

2011-03-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

I've seen this a few places before and just thought I'd share. It makes me laugh.

Magic

2011-03-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

My cousin and her friends are magic. My baby doesn't go to bed until 10 or 11 pm, depending on her mood. Then she wakes up every 3 hours (or less) during the night. This has been the drill ever since she was born, except for a couple of blessed nights when she went for four or five hours.

Last night Eric and I went out and asked my cousin if she would tend the girls. She did and also brought a couple of friends along. When it comes to keeping up with Ellie, the more the better.

Tangent: When we got home it was almost 10 pm and we were sure Ellie would have crashed and burned by then. Not so. She and the girls were dancing to the end of George of the Jungle. They told me Ellie is very energetic. If three high school girls tell me that it makes me feel better about being run down at the end of the day. End tangent.

I had expected to find Ellie conked out in her bed and Maya asleep in the front room. It turns out they rocked Maya to sleep at 7:30 and put her in her crib. She woke up around 9 and fussed a little before falling back to sleep. That was a surprise. Maya never does that for me. She stayed asleep until about 11 (just as I was ready to climb into bed) when she woke up for a feeding. I fed her and, miracle of miracles, she stayed asleep when I put her in her crib.

Maya didn't wake up until after 8 am. The heavens opened and the angels began to sing. My body still woke me up every three hours, but at least I didn't have to get out of bed. I had to check on her in the morning to make sure she was still breathing. It's a shame there wasn't a camera to capture the panicked, spastic sprint I got into when I saw her blanket over her face. It would have been one for posterity. But Maya just stretched, rolled to her side, and went back to sleep after I snatched the blanket away. If I'm lucky tonight will be the same--minus the blanket snatching.

My only explanation for Maya's rapid shift in sleeping patterns is that Andrea and Co. are magic. Maybe I can work out a deal to have them put Maya down every night...

B Priceless

2011-03-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Remember how I said that makeup is my new hobby? Well, that happened after I was directed to Classy Cosmetics and saw all the really fun and beautiful things she does with makeup. I really can't get enough of the purple sunrise. Gorgeous! Anyhow, Jen from Classy Cosmetics is hosting a giveaway on her blog for B-Priceless. Details here.They are giving away clothes and accessories. I want the clothes. I need the clothes. Seriously. None of mine fit after having a baby and continuing to gain weight. Check out the stuff. It all looks pretty great to me.

M.o.t.i.v.a.t.e.d.

2011-03-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

Have you ever stepped on the bathroom scale and had to pick yourself up off the floor because the number made you faint? There's a reason I've exercised more than once this week. Maybe I'll have to try a new method of weighing myself. Or maybe it's just that my clothes are reeeeeeaaaaaally heavy.

Day of Love

2011-02-15T15:45:00.001-07:00

Eric and I spent our Valentine's Day laid back style: at home with the girls. February 14 is a significant date for us because it's the anniversary of the day we were engaged. Do we celebrate it?...no, not really. I don't know why. It's just one of those things we've never done. We talked about how we're so happy we're on the same page about so many things. It's one of the many reasons we're so perfect for one another. You know what we got each other as gifts? I got Eric a week's supply of new socks and he got me two dozen chocolate chip cookies from The Chocolate (to be shared with him and the girls, of course). Sigh. I love that man.

Most of the celebration happened with the girls. I put them in matching red dresses and styled Ellie's hair like this. Ellie and Maya opened their Valentine gifts and cards from G&G Cottam and I told both girls how much I loved them. That was pretty much the extent of it. We went to Walmart to pick up a few things and enjoyed watching the horde of disappointed-faced men as they clustered around the display of half dead flowers. I'm thinking they realized they didn't want to give their wives brown roses. That's all that's left at 5 pm on Valentine's Day.

One of the highlights of my day was receiving my package from Sephora. Makeup is my new hobby. It's a weird hobby, but I'm liking it. One of the eyeshadows in the package is red. I decided I could probably get away with red on Valentine's Day, so I wore it. And I rocked it. The picture was taken about 8 hours after I applied the eyeshadow so it's not as fresh as it was, but you get the idea. It was awesome.

Dinner was Cheeseburger Joe's with cookies for dessert. Poor Maya had to wait until that was in my breast milk before she got a taste. Next year, baby girl. I think she still loves me, though. She gave me a kiss on the cheek for her first Valentine's Day. It wasn't staged at all...

I didn't realize until I was uploading the pictures that I didn't take any pictures with Eric. He's not usually excited to be in front of a camera. So the most recent picture I have of my sweetie and me together is the couple picture we had taken when we were in for extended family pictures. He's so handsome. I'm lucky I get to be with him forever and ever amen.

Uncle Steve For The Win!!!

2011-02-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

Ellie got sick on Friday. It was one of those sicknesses where the kid is fine one day and then wakes up with a fever and several other nasty symptoms. Not fun for child or parent, especially when it causes the child to wake up several times during the night for comfort. Anyhow, I didn't take her to the doctor on Friday because I thought it was a little cold that would be gone by Sunday. When she was worse on Sunday I decided to take her to the doctor on Monday. Yeah. It's pneumonia. I just about burst into tears as soon as the doctor said it for fear his next word would be "hospital." It wasn't. She sounded worse than her x-ray showed and only requires antibiotic to get her all better. That was a relief.

Well, I've been feeling sickness coming on since Sunday. My general routine is to deny it and keep busy until it goes away because mommies can't afford to get sick. That method failed me this time and by the time Monday night came around I couldn't deny it anymore. On Tuesday morning I updated my Facebook status as shown below:

Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick.

If I say it enough times it will be true... Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick. Mommies don't get sick.

I got several encouraging comments, ranging from hoping I wouldn't get sick to helping me use more positive self-talk to keep the sickness away. I appreciated them all, but I as was already sick it was a bit late for the well-wishes. My bad. I felt dumb commenting that I had been sick for a couple of days, so I left it alone.

This morning I opened my email to find a comment from my uncle. I was a little afraid of what he had to say. I didn't need to be. His comment was: Mommies don't get sick. They build new homes!!!!

I'm pretty sure that thought alone cleared my sinuses and gave me an extra two hours of sleep.

The House

2011-02-08T10:33:00.001-07:00

Eric stumbled across the blog that documents the progress of another Rural Housing Development group who has just finished building the homes they will be moving into. The picture below is the outside of the house plan we chose. I haven't seen the options for colors and building materials, so I'm not sure what ours will look like compared to this, other than being the exact same shape.

On the blog there is also a short video that shows a partial walk-through of the main floor. There is also an unfinished basement. The lot that shares our house plan is lot 32. It's also really cool to see the people who will be our neighbors. We even tried plugging in different group numbers and found the people who will be our next door neighbors when we all finish building. The blog address for the group is here. Eric even served his mission with one of the couples who just finished building. He's so excited! There's also another family in the process of building that is from Fiji. Eric knows the guy's brother (he thinks). Cool, huh?

Today. Is. Awesome.

2011-02-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

Last week my daughter went peepee in her potty for the first time. I don't think she really knew what she'd done, but it was all kinds of great. The next day was free admission at the zoo and I decided we could put training on hold for that. Today was the day we started again. Treats were given and she sat on the potty. I left the room to answer the phone and then heard a scream from Ellie. I thought she'd dropped her cup. If only. Instead, she'd dropped her own little "bomb" on the carpet next to the potty and was upset about it. It had, after all, gotten on her legs and her princess dress. Cleaning up poop from the carpet was not awesome.

Despite that bit of non-awesomeness the day was still...awesome. We got word that we've been approved to build a house!!! AWESOME!!!!!! That was more than enough to cancel out the non-awesomeness of a poopy carpet.

Several weeks ago we put in our application for the Rural Housing Development's mutual self-help program. Groups of 6-10 families get together (with the help of a contractor) to build each others' homes. We're not sure when construction will start, but we're totally stoked. I'm excited to choose the carpet all our other kids will poop on.

Mother/Baby Study

2011-01-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

Last week I participated in a mother/baby study at BYU. Maybe I just have some weird interest in participating, but I always think it's kind of cool. Or it could be the money I get that I like...hmm... This one paid $150 and included wearing a blood pressure cuff for a day, saving all my urine (it's a little strange to have a visual memory of precisely how much that is), performing a few simple tests, a blood draw, and having my baby go through developmental tests. They're still looking for a few moms. If you or someone you know has a baby age 3-4 months and want to participate you can leave me a comment or email me and I'll get you the information.

Learning Patience

2011-01-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

I hate waiting. That is all.

Resolutions...again

2010-12-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

The past two years have seen me making resolutions from the 101 in 1001 project. For two years running I've been really excited about it all and then eventually forgot about the goals. A big part of that last year came from the goal to "multiply and replenish a second time". That one was accomplished, so I'm calling it good.

A single resolution for this year came to mind a week or so ago and it's been tumbling around ever since. "Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness" is one of my favorite sentences I've read in the Bible Dictionary. In thinking about that I've decided that my goal is to make my home more like the temple.

That thought and goal have been on the back burner in my mind. I've known that I need to have more specific markers of what the goal means to me and I hadn't gotten very far with it. While I was folding laundry last night I was hit with a burst of inspiration and ran to get my scriptures before I could forget. The beginnings of breaking down my goal into useful, manageable pieces is in Doctrine and Covenants, section 88 and verses 119-120.

119^aOrganize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a ^bhouse, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;

120That your ^aincomings may be in the name of the Lord; that your outgoings may be in the name of the Lord; that all your salutations may be in the name of the Lord, with ^buplifted hands unto the Most High.

I want my house to be a house of prayer, fasting, faith, learning, glory, order, and God and I want the things that come into our home to be things that will bring the Spirit with them. I want to establish this house now and carry it with us wherever we go. As a help to myself I'm going to break each idea down into what it means to me.

House of prayer: True personal and family prayer. Rather than going through the motions, I need to pray "with real intent." I need to teach my children to do the same.

House of fasting: Because I'm nursing I am still not participating in the monthly fast by skipping meals. However, I can still keep the spirit of the fast and be mindful of others. In the scriptures fasting was also a way to show gratitude for blessings from Heavenly Father. I can always show more gratitude and I want to do that.

House of faith: We need to study the scriptures more and build our faith. I want that to be very important to the girls as they grow. Faith cannot be cultivated or cared for if the seed is never planted. Gospel learning was important in both of our homes growing up and I know that is essential for our girls.

House of learning: I want my home to be a place where my girls can learn and where Eric and I can teach them. The teaching I want to do covers all facets of life, but at this stage in their development I want to make sure their little minds are getting proper stimulation. That means cutting way back on the amount of movies we watch to play and read together more.

House of glory: My home should be a place where the things we watch and the things we do show our devotion to the Father. That doesn't mean that our books, movies or artwork are solely scriptural, but it does mean that all of those things are uplifting and welcome the Spirit.

House of order: A clean and orderly house is one in which the Spirit can be more easily felt. I really need to work on this. It may not be perfect because I have two kids, but I can do better.

House of God: This comes back to the home being like the temple in sacredness. I want my home to be a place where the Spirit is found in rich abundance and to truly be a house of the Lord where He would be comfortable.

I really feel like this goal was an inspired one. I want to implement it now and continue to grow in it as the years go on. I want my home to be as sacred as the temple. I'm excited to make it that way.

This Year's Christmas Song

2010-12-24T13:07:00.001-07:00

Two years ago I wrote this post with my feelings about a Christmas song. I should have done it again last year with another song, but I didn't. I'll write it up this year. Hopefully I'll make this a tradition.

Do You Hear What I Hear has been one of my favorites since junior high. I don't know why. I just really liked it. While listening to it last year I paid closer attention to words from the third verse:

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,
"Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king,
Do you know what I know?"

I love these words because it is a reminder that the Lord speaks to those who are humble and willing to let Him into their hearts. God is no respecter of persons, but will give light and knowledge to those who seek. The blessings of eternity are available to all who follow after Christ. Those who know must share it so others can know and partake of the joy.

I also love that, in the fourth verse, the mighty king has accepted and then testifies to his people:

The child, the child sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light.
He will bring us goodness and light.

Merry Christmas to all and May we all take Christ into our hearts and accept the blessings our Heavenly Father is waiting to give. Merry Christmas.

Don't Mess With This Kid

2010-12-07T19:09:00.003-07:00

Month of Thanks: Day 30

2010-11-30T11:07:00.000-07:00

Jesus Christ. Without my Savior I would be nothing. I'm grateful for His life and teachings, His atoning sacrifice, and His influence on my life. My testimony of the atonement has grown from knowing it was for the whole world to understanding that it's for me as an individual to appreciating that it is for the people I love. Because of my Savior I can feel the joys of repentance and forgiveness. It is available to all. I love the words of Elder Boyd K. Packer:

Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. Do you understand the consummate cleansing power of the Atonement made by the Son of God, our Savior, our Redeemer? He said, “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.” In that supernal act of love, the Savior paid the penalties for our sins so that we might not have to pay.

For those who truly desire it, there is a way back. Repentance is like unto a detergent. Even ground-in stains of sin will come out.

No one who desires it is outside the power of the Redeemer to become clean, to grow as a person, and to overcome the world.

Month of Thanks: Day 29

2010-11-29T11:14:00.000-07:00

Me. My month mark isn't until tomorrow, but I didn't want to put myself in on the last day of the month. I have another plan for that. Anyhow, I did think it was important to include me. There was a time in my life when I didn't know how to appreciate myself. I'm happy to say I was able to move past that time and come to like and respect myself as my own person. I'm pleased with the person I've become, even though I still have quite a way to go to get to where I want to be. I didn't do it by myself. I had help from family, friends, and the One to whom tomorrow's post will be dedicated.

Month of Thanks: Day 28

2010-11-28T17:49:00.000-07:00

Chocolate covered macadamia nut and salted caramel clusters from Costco. Holy cow. Delicious.

Month of Thanks: Day 27

2010-11-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

Traditions. Now that we're in the holiday season I appreciate traditions that make this a special time for my family. It's been fun and interesting blending my family's traditions with my husband's and creating our own with the girls. It was really fun watching Ellie help decorate the tree.

Month of Thanks: Day 26

2010-11-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Leftover baby clothes. I haven't had to buy any new clothes for Maya. It would have been really, really expensive to have to buy a whole new set of clothes for her to wear. Reusing Ellie and Daphne's clothes is a blessing. That's not to say I haven't purchased anything, but it hasn't been a necessity.

Month of Thanks: Day 25

2010-11-25T10:34:00.000-07:00

Appliances. Large or small, appliances make my life easier. Today I am especially grateful for a hand mixer, oven, and dishwasher. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Month of Thanks: Day 24

2010-11-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

Preparation. The huge, terrible, haven't-seen-one-like-it-in-recent-memory blizzard that was supposed to come in last night turned out to be a lot of nothing. The grass in our yard is still showing. All the same, it was nice to know that if it had been something to keep us in our house we would have been ready for it. Well, after that trip to the grocery store yesterday...

But I really am grateful for preparation. "...if ye are prepared ye shall not fear." D&C 38:30 I wasn't afraid.

Month of Thanks: Day 23

2010-11-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

Age. As I get older I get wiser. I can understand, accept, and roll with things that would have crushed me five or ten years ago. So despite the inevitable wrinkles, gray hair, and sagging skin that is in store for me, I look forward to continuing to age.

Month of Thanks: Day 22

2010-11-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Priesthood. I'm grateful for the power of the priesthood in my home. Maya was given her baby yesterday by my husband, through the power of the priesthood. I have received many blessings in the past and will receive more in the future. There really aren't adequate words to express the wonderful gift that is the priesthood.

Month of Thanks: Day 21

2010-11-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

Maya. She is two months old today. Maya has made me remember just how much I love having a baby in the house. She is happy and mellow, which is especially nice for me. I love her beautiful brown eyes, her soft baby skin, her cute smile. I love that she and Ellie can be sisters.

Month of Thanks: Day 20

2010-11-20T09:39:00.001-07:00

What is. I recently put some old pictures up on Facebook and got a lot of response from it. From there I was able to find out more about childhood friends and what they did after my family moved. I became wistful for what might have been. But it was short-lived. All it took was remembering what I have, what I experienced, and, most importantly, who I associate with to make me realize that what might have been can't hold a candle to what is. I am grateful for friends old and new and for best friends that are always there.

Month of Thanks: Day 19

2010-11-19T05:16:00.001-07:00

Eric. I refer to my children's age by month, so I'll say that Eric is 378 months old today. I'm so glad that he's a part of my life.

I met Eric just after I graduated from high school and just before his mission. He was the first man to make me feel wanted and attractive. I felt like I came alive after I met him. He was the first man to pursue me. It took us a while to get everything worked out, but good things come to those who wait. He is a blessing to me every day.

Eric is a wonderful husband and father. Watching him with our children makes me fall in love with him a million times over. He is loving and patient with me. He makes me laugh and sends Ellie into fits of delighted hysteria. I love him dearly and I'm glad he's mine for eternity.

Month of Thanks: Day 18

2010-11-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

Perspective. Sometimes it takes someone else giving you a kick in the pants, but keeping things in perspective makes for a happier life.

Month of Thanks: Day 17

2010-11-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

Video cameras. They allow me (or others, as is the case with this clip) to capture memories. This one is Ellie dancing to Toy Story 3. Her little dance is a bit more elaborate now, but this gives you an idea.

Month of Thanks: Day 16

2010-11-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Story time at the library. I recently decided that I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom anymore; I want to be a take-the-girls-out-and-do-something mom. Story time is going to become a weekly event.

Month of Thanks: Day 15

2010-11-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hot water. A nice shower makes me feel like a new woman. Even if I have to leave the door open while I do to make sure the girls aren't destroying anything.

Month of Thanks: Day 14

2010-11-14T12:59:00.000-07:00

Kirkland diapers in size 1-2. They have the leak catcher pocket in the back elastic, saving Maya from many a blowout.

Month of Thanks: Day 13

2010-11-13T14:34:00.000-07:00

Roses blooming in front of my house...in November. It's the promise that spring will come again, that one can overcome obstacles, that there can be beauty even in a dreary time...take you pick of a lesson. They're all worthwhile and the flowers brighten my day every time I see them.

Month of Thanks: Day 12

2010-11-12T07:40:00.001-07:00

Living in Utah. I love the people, the places, the culture (as well as laughing at the funny things about said culture), the natural beauty, and the atmosphere of peace. I also love that my family is here.

Month of Thanks: Day 11

2010-11-11T06:17:00.000-07:00

Baby hands. I love the way my baby grips my shirt or arm when I'm holding her. I love the way my toddler holds my hand to go places or experience new things. Their warmth fills my heart with tenderness and joy.

Month of Thanks: Day 10

2010-11-10T17:56:00.002-07:00

Umm...Metamucil...

Month of Thanks: Day 9

2010-11-09T08:22:00.002-07:00

Great in-laws. I love all my in-laws. They say you marry your spouse's family. I got really lucky with mine. They're all marriage material.

Month of Thanks: Day 8

2010-11-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

Indoor plumbing. Need I say more?

Month of Thanks: Day 7

2010-11-07T13:42:00.001-07:00

Fingernails. I use mine as extensions of my fingers and as small utility tools. Without them I would be unable to peel an orange or untie my shoes. I'm not kidding; I'm totally useless without my fingernails. Plus, they look awesome with nail polish.

Month of Thanks: Day 6

2010-11-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

Leave-in detangling spray. Some days that is the only thing that lets me get a comb through Ellie's hair.

Month of Thanks: Day 5

2010-11-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

My husband's job/boss. I've written before about how I feel that Eric getting his job was filled with Divine intervention. I still believe it. Eric loves his job and is very good at it. At the end of the day he doesn't feel like he's been at work all day. I get a happy husband at the end of each work day.

Eric's boss is also awesome. He gave Eric a chance when his resume didn't really suggest that he would be the best man for the job. It turned out he was the perfect man for the job and he was promoted two months later. Eric's boss, Paul, is the kind that notices good work and lets his employees know they're doing well. Recognition goes a long way. It means the world to me when other people notice the great things about Eric. There are a lot of them.

Month of Thanks: Day 4

2010-11-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

Note: I've been trying to think outside the box and include things I'm thankful for that might not be what I would immediately think of. Variety is the spice of life, right? However, Ellie is 27 months old today and I think she deserves a spot on the list. I'll do it for all the month marks of my family.

Eliana is my sweetness. She is the child that first made me feel like a mother. Holding her for the first time was magic. I've been addicted to her ever since. She's been my constant companion (fairly literally) for two years and three months. Watching Ellie learn and grow brings me unfathomable joy. As is any good mother, I am convinced that my daughter is the most beautiful creature in existence. It's plain to see how gorgeous she is as Little Bo Peep. You should see her in real life. She is the reason I get up in the morning. Really. She walks into our bedroom at 6:30 every morning. Best alarm clock ever.

Month of Thanks: Day 3

2010-11-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

Today I'm grateful for my body. It has more fluff than I would like, a couple of wrinkles, and angry red stretch marks. But I love it all. It's my body. It allows me to embrace my husband, cradle my children, and move myself around. It may look ridiculous when I'm 40 weeks pregnant (no help from the overalls), but that ridiculous body has been blessed enough to carry three children beneath all the folds and fluffiness.

Today it allowed me to walk four miles without giving out. I'm grateful for that, too.

Month of Thanks: Day 2

2010-11-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

Modern medicine. A truly awesome doctor. Those two things go hand in hand for me. Without the miracle that is modern medicine both my father and my older brother would be dead. Period.

Without my doctor there is a great chance that I would have needed a c-section to deliver my newest daughter. Thanks to modern medicine, it wouldn't have been a really big deal to have a c-section to deliver my newest daughter. And I would have had to go through labor and delivery without the anesthesia I love so dearly. We live in a great age.

Month of Thanks: Day 1

2010-11-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

November is blessed to be the month in which we celebrate Thanksgiving. I've taken on a challenge to share some thing I'm thankful for every day this month. Gratitude is an amazing thing. I have found that it has the power to fix any problem that I have. At the very least, saying a prayer of gratitude has the power to change my perspective on any problem I have. Example: while on my mission I was really upset about something (can't remember what) and was so angry that I knew I needed an attitude makeover. I said a prayer of just gratitude as I went down the street. I was mad enough that I started running out of things to say. Toward the end I was thankful for things like not stepping in the dog poop we had just passed. That made me laugh a little and changed my point of view. I was able to move on and find more things to be grateful for than to be angry about.

Now, without further ado (except to tell my readers that this is the last time these posts will be so long), I give you Day 1.

I am grateful for the uninhibited joy of children. They live life so fully and because of that they infuse life into everyone around them. I've felt that with all the children I've worked with whether they were my own or others' children. It is refreshing and satisfying to be around the sweet children of the world as they relish their little lives. Something as simple as, say, jumping off the fireplace, is enough to make life full and worth living. It's no wonder the Savior loves children and suggested that we emulate them.

Groundbreaking

2010-10-23T08:50:00.002-07:00

There are no appropriate words I can say. Just know that ground has been broken for the Temple in Rome. The video shows what the new temple and other buildings will look like. The hymn being played, Faith in Every Footstep, was significant to me as I prepared for my mission. I'm so glad they chose to use it. My heart is full.

HypnoBirthing: The Birth

2010-10-15T13:03:00.002-07:00

My plan for labor and delivery was to use HypnoBirthing to get me through until the epidural but, ideally, to make it all the way through without medication. Laboring wasn't what I expected, so my plans changed. I'd also written up a list of birth preferences, but I tossed those a few days before going into labor.

The thing that really made the difference was the baby's position. She was in posterior position and that brought on back labor. I don't wish that on my worst enemy. With my first labor I had 90 seconds from the end of one contraction to the beginning of another where I could move around or gather things. I wasn't very productive in those 90 seconds, but at least I had a break. Back labor felt like a band of terrible pain across my lower back, coupled with a strong urge to relieve my bowels. When a contraction hit I still had the pain and urge from before, but then there was more pain in my abdomen. When the contraction ended it was back to the nasty back pain. There was no break in the pain, just a break in contractions.

I tried relaxing through the pain and doing visualizations and changing position and getting into the tub and pouring water over my belly. None of it helped for more than a minute or two and most of what I tried didn't help at all. That made it impossible for me to just relax through it. It was all I could do just to shift positions and get my sorry backside onto the bad. I decided before we left the hospital that I was going to request the epidural. I'd only been asleep for two and a half hours when labor woke me. I knew I wouldn't last on relaxation alone when it was time to push-I needed more sleep.

HypnoBirthing came very much in handy after the epidural. When the nurse placed my catheter I needed help to cope with the pain until I fell asleep. You're not supposed to feel the catheter after an epidural, but I can. I felt it even more through each contraction until I fell asleep. Eric took me through a really nice visualization while I close my eyes and worked on relaxing my body. That got me through until I fell asleep to the calming sound of my husband's voice. After that I was able to sleep.

I did have a lot more interventions than the HypnoBirthing philosophy believes in, but I wasn't upset about any of them. Some were things I agreed with more than I agreed with HypnoBirthing, and some were the price I was more than happy to pay so I could have my epidural.

While pushing I used the "breathe the baby down" technique until nothing felt right aside from pushing with all my might. The baby didn't want to move down at all, so I wasn't really able to see the difference in how the pushing methods made my body react. I pushed for almost three hours, but that was because of how the baby was turned and how that made getting her out so much more difficult. For much of the time I was making no progress whatsoever. In the end I was so tired that I got a redose of the epidural and the baby was delivered with forceps. I would have preferred to avoid all that, but the size of the baby and her positioning were things beyond my control. Besides, it really wasn't terrible. Back labor was terrible.

With the next baby I'll try HypnoBirthing again, but I'm planning on the epidural. It makes me happy.

HypnoBirthing: Class Five and Conclusion

2010-10-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

I totally forgot to write about the class right after it happened, but I still remember it pretty well. There was a little talk about going past your due date, but I wasn't concerned about that at the time. We also talked about alternatives to avoid a pitocin induction. Castor oil was mentioned, but I wasn't about to try that.

Most of the rest of class was taken up with watching different video clips. There was one whole video about water birth that featured the births of several different babies. One of the moms (who is also the midwife who made the video) had her whole family in the tub with her. Only her husband and daughter stayed in the tub for the actual birth. The boys were outta there before she delivered. The daughter (around six years old, I think) had long hair that she dragged through the water before putting it in her mouth. That was disturbing. Mmm...crotch water. Other than that the video wasn't bad.

Conclusion: The class had lots of good information and lots of things I chose to ignore. For those determined to have an unmedicated birth, I think this is an excellent class. It helps give you the confidence and the tools you need to make it through labor and delivery. I was not very determined to go without the epidural, so I didn't. It was nice to have gone through the class to learn relaxation techniques and comfort measures, though they didn't prove very helpful in my own situation. I would have liked to spend more class time focusing on those things, but I'm not your typical HypnoBirthing student. I think I would recommend the class to anyone who is really interested. I would just skip the third class and spend that time practicing.

Meet Miss Maya

2010-09-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

Here's just one picture for now. She was 9 lb 1 oz and 20.5 inches long. She is beautiful and we love having here with us. The full story is on the girls' blog.

Wii Goal

2010-09-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I weighed myself on the Wii. It asked me to set a goal for my weight. Knowing I was close to delivering a baby, I decided I would set my goal to lose 10 pounds in two weeks. That's possible when you're about to evict an 8 pound baby and other pregnancy-related stuff. I set the goal for the day before my due date, knowing I would deliver way before then. Tomorrow is the day before my due date. Seeing as nothing is moving forward in the baby eviction process, I doubt I'll reach my goal. Grumble. Maybe she'll surprise me, but I doubt it. So how's your day?

An Original Poem

2010-09-12T21:11:00.005-07:00

This poem comes from the heart and took me at least 15 whole minutes to write. It expresses the deepest yearnings of my soul.

4 Centimeters and 80% Effaced

This pregnancy has gone longer
Than I have previously faced.
But it was exciting to hear
I’m dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

Two weeks ago I heard it
And for those weeks I’ve paced,
Expecting to give birth because
I’m dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

I thought I’d deliver early
(My last baby came with haste)
Yet this child remains inside me,
Though I’m dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

Yes, I know I'm early
But my experience is based
On being in full labor last time
I was dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

My doctor will be leaving town soon
And stripping membranes was a waste.
My baby will not progress beyond
Dilation to 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

I’ve heard tell of orange juice that
Brings on labor when it’s laced
With castor oil and will throw me past
My dilation of 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

I will not drink the foul concoction,
Though it promises I’ll be graced
With a baby (and diarrhea) now that
I’m dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

And so I’ll just keep waiting,
Though my optimism seems misplaced,
And hoping this child will come because
I’m dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

I sit and dream and and lose my mind;
My insanity can be traced
To still being heavily pregnant when
I'm dilated 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.

A Thrilling Thirty

2010-08-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

Today is my 30th birthday. I've had so much else to occupy my mind lately that the fact of turning 30 has either not entered my brain or I really, actually don't care that there is now a 3 at the beginning of my age. I am even more pregnant than I suspected I'd be and that takes up most of my thoughts and energy.

However, I still think that turning 30 is a great thing for me to celebrate. I had a great time in my 20s and I thought I would celebrate this year by writing down a few things that happened in the last decade of my life.

2000 (I realize I should start with 2001, but I like round numbers)--Graduated with an AS degree from Snow College, my future husband got home from his mission, and I started classes at BYU.

2001--My first nephew was born, I had a crisis of identity while trying to heal from a bad roommate situation the year before (LOOOONG story), and spent eight glorious weeks in Hawaii. If you ever need to take time off for yourself to learn to relax, spend eight weeks in Hawaii. It works miracles!!! The overarching theme of that year for me was that I learned who I was and that I could like myself for me, rather than who I was or was not attached to.

2002--Worked with my dad at Soldier Hollow for the Olympics, left on my mission to Rome, and my first niece was born. Great year!

2003--Finished my mission in Rome after having served in Quartu Sant' Elena, Castellammare di Stabbia, and Ladispoli before finishing up there. It was all a wild ride that taught me a lot. I loved it. I also forgave my future husband for dropping me like a rock before my mission and tentatively agreed to go on a date with him. We continued dating through the end of the year.

2004--Eric and I got engaged and married. I'm not sure of much else that happened that year. It's all a little foggy in the haze of happiness that represents that year.

2005--Graduated from BYU with a degree in Home Economics Education and started teaching at American Fork High School.

2006--Started teaching at Orem Jr. That was an experience. I learned I would like my own kids better than other peoples' kids and got pregnant.

2007--Quit my teaching job, lost the baby I was expecting halfway through the pregnancy, and went on a cruise. That was a pretty dark year for me, but I came out of it with a strengthened testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and a greater understanding of His earthly mission, Atonement, and of Heavenly Father's love for all His children. While it was the worst thing I've ever had to go through and wouldn't wish it on anyone, it is also a precious and sacred experience to me. I also became pregnant again and found out just before Christmas.

2008--Gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Not much else sticks out in my mind for that year because the pregnancy and birth took precedence over everything else in my mind. My brother got married, too. That was another awesome thing for one of the best years of my life.

2009--I quit work outside the home and began my own freelance sewing business from home and another cute niece was born. Eric and I celebrated five years of marriage and our daughter's first birthday.

2010--Eric graduated from UVU with a degree in math. He started work at his new job the Monday after graduation and was given a promotion and a raise within two months. I'm so proud of him. I've also spent all this year pregnant with daughter #2. Maya is set to be born in the next couple of weeks and we couldn't be more excited.

It really has been a great decade. All of life has ups and downs, but the key to making it all a good experience is to learn from both the good and the bad and incorporate those lessons into your life. I feel like I have grown and learned so much in these past ten years. I look forward to another fantastic decade with the addition of more children, buying and/or building a house, and learning new things. Here's to another great ten!

HypnoBirthing: Class Four

2010-08-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah!!! This class was back to what I have been used to. I really think this was one of the classes I had been waiting for since I started taking the class. We talked about different labor and birthing positions, as well as relaxation techniques (huzzah!) that our husbands could use to help us. I knew that was a very important part of HypnoBirthing, but I had no idea of what to have Eric do to help. That was made much better and much more clear in this class. I am the most pregnant lady in class, so I got to be the first guinea pig for the knee press. You get used to what the baby does to your body that you don't always remember what it was like without that pressure and strain. Now I remember what it used to feel like to sit in a chair without the pressure on my pelvis. H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y!!! Eric got the technique down the first time. I think the knee press is going to become a daily ritual.

The class was better for Eric, as well. He understands a little better now why I think this is something I might want to do. We also finally did the fear release. That was a nice little walk-through. Both Eric and I plan on using it again on our own. It helps to take away the negative emotions associated with things we may have heard or seen. I'm trying to use mine to help release fear of what may happen and negative self talk, so I think I'll really need to work on that.

We heard and watched a few other birth stories. Most of the ones we heard had to do with making sure we use the "breathing down" technique to get the baby out, rather than traditional pushing. The difference is that, rather than hold your breath and bear down hard for ten seconds before starting over again, you take a deep breath and use the exhale to nudge the baby down. I really wasn't a fan of pushing last time I gave birth and don't even get me started on how I feel about having a cheering section for pushing. That just annoys me. I think I even told them to just count and not encourage me when I delivered last time. I thought this was worth a try. Hopefully it will also help to avoid the need for an episiotomy (which I would still rather have that a tear. Tearing sucks.) because I won't be straining so much. That's my hope, anyway. It's another one of those things that's worth a try.

Overall reaction: I think this may have been my favorite class yet. Everything was so much more relaxed and we were able to work on things together. As we walked in (late) the rest of the class had just started a relaxation practice in couples. I loved doing that with Eric. Having the person you love speaking to you makes it all so nice. I feel so much more prepared for the birth now. I feel like we got a few more tools to use that will help us make it through. Two thumbs up.

Art Imitating Life

2010-08-22T11:52:00.001-07:00

Scene: A father and two year old daughter are playing together in their living room. The heavily pregnant mother enters the room and plops down on the couch. She is dressed in green.

Daughter: [turning and pointing to the mother] Shrek!
Father: [laughs hysterically]

The End

HypnoBirthing: Class Three

2010-08-21T20:16:00.005-07:00

It happened. Today's class was one that I didn't particularly enjoy. It was also the first one that my husband was able to attend. The funny part was that none of the other husbands were there for this class. Eric provided the sole source of testosterone.

I had a vague idea of what to expect because I read the material ahead of class. I knew we would be talking about writing birth plans (that's never been a high priority for me) and HypnoBirthing vs. active management of labor. After reading the material it was clear to me that active management of labor = BAD. At least, that's the way it was in the handout book. The handout book is different than the book I've read and commented about earlier. The handout book is all the material the teacher would give out during class, but is bound together with stuff from all the classes. FYI, active management of labor is what happens when the medical staff makes decisions rather than the parents and/or when medical interventions take place.

There was plenty of eye rolling as I read through this week's section in the handout book. That was also heavily sprinkled with exclamations of, "Well that's a load of crap!" The basic idea of the HypnoBirthing vs. active management of labor (from my own perspective) section was that in HypnoBirthing everything is calm and wonderful (hopefully true), while in active management of labor the goal of the doctors is to tell you what to do and how to do it so they can get out of there as quickly as possible. On top of that, the article implies that if you have one intervention (example: pitocin is used to induce or speed labor) you're taking a one way trip to the operating room and a c-section. The article even said the same about having a baby in a posterior (sunny side up) position. I know for certain that the hospital I will be delivering at does not c-section for a posterior baby. There were several other points the article made that I knew were not true in the hospital I'll be delivering at, hence number and frequency of the "load of crap" exclamations I made while reading. We did not read through the article in class. When the teacher started to talk about what good information the article had, how we should all read it, and how everything the article said was true to what happened when she gave birth I felt I should say something. She was giving birth 20-30 years ago and my last was two years ago. I waited until the break to say something so I could talk to the teacher alone, as well as to avoid disturbing the flow of the class. I'll get to that later.

We moved on to discussing writing a birth plan that includes our preferences for the birth. I appreciated that we are told to be flexible. You can plan and plan, but some things just won't go how you want. I had previously decided that I didn't want to write out a birth plan, but I think I've changed my mind. It's good to have one even if it's just so that you and your husband know what things are important to you. Today I decided that I'll write one up and show it to my doctor. If there is something on it he disagrees with then we'll discuss it and see what needs to be done so that we're on the same page. When it comes to giving birth I trust my doctor more than anyone else that comes to mind. My husband agrees. So now I'll be writing up a very short list of things that are important to me for the birth of my next child. I have my next appointment in a few days, so we'll discuss it then.

Somewhere in there we had our break. Eric and I were the only ones to leave the classroom, so there wasn't a chance to talk to the teacher without everyone else hearing. I figured that was still fine because one of the other two girls in the class is delivering where I'll be, as well. I started off by saying I had good news that a lot of the procedures mentioned in the handbook are no longer routine at the hospital I delivered at. She said that was good and asked which ones I meant. Sadly, it had been a few days since I'd read the stuff and I wasn't prepared with a list to present. I wish now that I'd had one. I don't remember what she said right then because I was so surprised that she had kind of steamrolled me before I had a chance to explain. When she finished I said that the big thing was that they really don't like to do c-sections. I was steamrolled again as she talked about how the hospital had gotten in trouble for it because of various reasons (while also downplaying the fact that they don't do c-sections nearly so often as the article suggests) and seamlessly changed the subject and resumed class. I won't lie; I was surprised and a bit offended. I had wanted to share that so the other moms would know that the doctors and hospital staff are not rushing to get you a c-section unless there is a true medical need. I find that comforting and thought the first-time moms should have that information, as well. I brought it up as something positive and didn't say anything negative about the article.

We discussed a couple of other topics that were on the list of suggestions to write up in the birth plan. There were several of those things that I already had an opinion about. I ended up sticking with my original opinions, but it was good to hear another perspective and reasons behind it. I'll spare you all the details, but will say that I trust my doctor more than the class. He goes into greater detail with his reasoning than the teacher said doctors would and his reasons make more sense to me. That's just a difference of opinion, but those are allowed. I'll keep my opinion and everyone else can keep theirs...as long as no one badgers me that mine is wrong. I don't take well to that.

Overall impression: I was really disappointed with this class session. Part of what I have liked in the past is the effort to educate mothers on what they can do, what their options are, and what is available. This class session seemed to present only one side of the story. It felt to me like it was brainwashing the new moms who haven't had any kind of birth experience. When a different way of doing things was shown that way was either laughed at or portrayed as dangerous. Those things have not been my experience. I didn't appreciate that I wasn't really given a chance to talk about my experience with active management of labor and to let the ladies know that they don't have to be afraid of it if that becomes necessary for them. If it were me as the first-time mom I'd be scared to let the doctor do anything after going to this class. Eric and I both found parts of the class that we thought we contradictory. Looking into the handout pages we can find the written bits that don't agree. That's not so impressive.

We still plan on using HypnoBirthing as our method of delivery, we just have to skip over quite a bit of the ideas included in it. I have to remember that I signed up for the class for pain management skills and not for the philosophy.

A Mother's Legacy

2010-08-20T19:35:00.001-07:00

I've heard somewhere that the only thing that will undoubtedly pass from mother to daughter is guilt. That it is inescapable, palpable, and inevitable. Well, that's often true. However, I think sometimes we're given a blessed hiatus from this crushing feeling of not being a good enough, creative enough, or "involved" enough. I had one of those today. It was called I'm-almost-nine-months-pregnant-and-I'm-exhausted-so-I'm-letting-movies-tend-my-daughter-this-afternoon-do-you-have-a-problem-with-that-Buster? It's very effective.

It's Coming

2010-08-17T20:54:00.001-07:00

I'm starting to feel like I'm in the home stretch with this pregnancy. I'm one month from my due date and nesting has (finally) started. Not that I have enough energy to do much about it. I spend most of my energy tending to a toddler daughter and making sure we go to the pool as often as possible before it closes down for the year. Priorities must remain in place, right?

So now I have a list of things to do before the baby comes. I think it keeps getting bigger. The list has items ranging from "find the cradle sheets" to "prepare two weeks of freezer meals" to "unpack the crap in the baby's room." At least now we have spoken with the appropriate people about what to do with Ellie depending on when we leave for the hospital and who will drive me there depending on the time of day. Little things like that need to be thought of ahead of time.

As things are slowly being taken care of I realize how imminent this birth really is. Ellie was six days early and I keep telling this baby that she should come on Labor Day. I've been mentally preparing for her to come early, so I hope she doesn't decide the womb is more comfortable than the summer heat. It's certainly not comfortable for me to have her inside, but I'll let her stay in as long as she behaves. And until her lungs are properly developed. I just ache (literally) for the day when I can stand or sit or lounge for more than a few minutes without having back or hip pain. I also look forward to actually being able to hold and care for our new daughter and watch a new life starting. It was fascinating with Ellie and I imagine it will be just as wondrous with Maya.

And P.S. Homemade watermelon granita (Italian ice) is heavenly and should be eaten all summer. Or any granita, for that matter.

City Deals

2010-08-12T17:15:00.002-07:00

So a friend of mine (actually, a mission companion, but still a friend) posted on her blog (okay, so it was her husband that posted it) about citydeals.com and the great discounts you can get there. I went on over and then bought a couple of gift certificates to use for myself as a 30th birthday activity. It worked out well for them because I clicked to it through the link they provided, so they get a $10 credit for having referred me. Good for them, good for me. Now I have my own link to refer you to. Try clicking here to see the deals and, if you choose to get one, giving me a credit. You know you want to. I wanted to. That's why I have my own link now. Did you miss it the first time? It's here. My facial and pedicure are calling me...

HypnoBirthing: The Book

2010-08-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

I'm most of the way through the HypnoBirthing book and now I can see why people said it would be confusing without the class. I've read ahead of where we are in class and I'm not sure how to go about implementing it.

The biggest thing about the book is...I like the class better. There's more of the weird stuff I was afraid of in the book than in the class. Thankfully it's easy enough to just skim past the parts that make my eyes roll. I'm glad we don't talk about the "curse of Eve" in class. I agree with some of what she says about it, but certainly not all.

Don't get me wrong; the book is mostly good. I just have an easier time picking out things I don't like from the book than I do from the class. My favorite, by far, is a section that has questions to ask as you find your birthing center. I choose the hospital for all the reasons I mentioned in my preface, so I just skimmed over that part. I got a great laugh from one of the questions, though: "May you remain in your own clothes during labor?" I immediately started snickering with that one and wondered why I would want to labor in my own clothes. During my last labor I threw up all over the gown, aside from knowing what a mess birth makes. I'll have the hospital wash that, thanks.

The book is great for getting you into the proper frame of mind to make HypnoBirthing successful. That makes it 110% worth the read.

HypnoBirthing: Class Two

2010-08-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

This was my last week of attending class without my husband. It will be nice to be there with someone instead of by myself.

Our books came in this past week and that should be a good resource for me. I borrowed the regular HypnoBirthing book from the teacher last weekend got about 2/3 through it. Now I have my own that includes another CD I haven't listened to. We also got our manuals that go with each class and have other things you can do to help prepare. I'm excited for that.

In class we talked a lot about preparation and practice. That goes along perfectly with my big reason for taking the class in the first place. I want to be ready for whatever comes up. Well, as much as possible. There are some things you can't plan for. Anyway, the talk about preparation revolved around the need to practice the techniques often so you are more readily able to get into deep relaxation quickly. Practice makes perfect, right?

We also talked about the importance of our birthing partners in the delivery room. For all of us in the class that would be our husband. The manual has several different scripts to practice with. Listening to the voice of someone you love telling you nice things always makes you feel good. The teacher told us several stories about how the relaxation was so much better when the husband was the one speaking to them. That makes sense to me, too.

The surprising thing to me was what I learned about hypnosis. After having watched stage hypnosis (and even trying to participate once when I was in college) I had an incorrect perception of what hypnosis is. There is never a loss of awareness. That was the biggest surprise to me. The person going into hypnosis can choose whether or not to do what is suggested. The teacher did a demonstration of one of the scripts in the manual and, as my husband wasn't there, I was the guinea pig. I chose to do what she asked me to do, rather than feeling compelled to do it. Then, just before the teacher was going to "bring me out" of the hypnosis, my cell phone went off. I was perfectly aware of it and could decide what to do about it.

The other thing that was explained to us very well in class is that we (the mothers) are capable of achieving the necessary level of relaxation on their own. It just works better to have someone there to talk to you while you are under self-hypnosis. I'm getting more excited to see how it goes.

HypnoBirthing: Class One

2010-08-02T20:59:00.002-07:00

To be honest from the get-go, I had a little bit of anxiety about attending the first HypnoBirthing class. I really hated the idea of being fed information and values that I didn't agree with, as well as the chance that I would be looked down upon by the teacher or other classmates for my non-natural philosophy. I was fairly certain I would be the only woman in the room (other than the teacher) to have gone through childbirth before. I was prepared to counter any argument put to me with, "that was not my experience," and leave it at that. I was there to give something new a try and I wanted my opinions respected in the same way as I planned on respecting others'. As is typical, my fears were overblown. No one in the class had anything negative to say, nor was there any opportunity for that to happen. The class is run in such a way that the negativity is left out of it so you can focus on the positive. That was refreshing.

The teacher introduced herself to us and then had us go around the room. It was a very small class with only three other couples. One of those couples was in a different class and had missed the first session, so they joined us. I don't expect to see them again. As I suspected, I was the only woman to have delivered a baby in the past. It was good to see the difference between the couples and learn more about them. It was a simple introduction and the teacher did not ask us to share why we chose HypnoBirthing. I had been afraid of that.

While I was introducing myself the teacher asked the name of my doctor. I told her and she seemed slightly displeased. She asked how I thought he would react when I told him I wanted to do HypnoBirth. I replied that I'd already told him and his response was, "We men don't really know what you go through, so the decision is up to you." To me, that shows his support of my decision, even if it isn't what he would choose. That's all I need from him. The teacher then told me her niece is another one of my doctor's patients and that she had spoken about him with her niece. The niece finally told the teacher she liked the doctor and to back off about it. That's my kind of girl. The teacher then told me it was a good thing that I like my doctor, especially after having experience with him. I was pleased that she could respect my preference even though she didn't agree with it. That's all I need to know from her. Had she gone on to bad-mouth him or make disparaging comments I would have declined to take the rest of the course and left without paying. Knowing that the teacher was able to allow me to hold opinions different from her own gave me confidence that we could get along. I actually really do like her. It's okay to have different ideas.

One thing I thought was interesting during the introductions was what came up as the next mother introduced herself. To keep it short(er), the intro led to a question from the teacher about who is in charge of the nursing staff at the hospital. The teacher's answer was that the doctor is in charge. True enough, but after having done this once before I know enough to know that I'm in charge of the nursing staff. One of the biggest lessons I learned from my daughter's birth was that I will kindly tell the nursing staff what I will and won't accept. For example, if I start pushing and shift change comes around I will not agree to stop and wait until the next nurse comes in. That's not outrageous. It's nice to know what to expect the second time around, as well as what I can tell them I want.

After introductions were over we talked about how the body works to keep the baby in and/or let the baby go. That was all new and interesting. We also discussed how the body reacts to fear in its system, with emphasis on how it can effect labor. The brain starts to ready us for the Fight or Flight response before we even fully assess the situation. Our level of fear decides that. Then we talked about the fear/tension/pain cycle. The more afraid we are, the more our muscles and bodies tense, the more difficult it is for the body to do what it needs to, causing pain. That's fairly basic and is my view of it. That may not be exactly what the teacher said, but that's what I took away from it.

Hypnosis was explained to us a little more thoroughly. It's not that someone is there with the laboring mother to put her in a trance or control her actions; it is a state of deep relaxation in which your senses are still very much aware of what is going on. It has a lot to do with focus. It also takes practice. Knowing that HypnoBirth is deep relaxation rather than some New Age silliness is comforting. It makes the idea not so strange as it sounds.

We also watched a couple of different videos. The first was from Marie Mongan, the creator of HypnoBirthing. I admit that I ignored some of it because it wasn't what I believe or how I choose to do things. We also watched another video that I had seen on YouTube when I was just considering whether or not to take the class. I'm attaching the video to the bottom of the post so you don't have to click over it if you don't want to. I liked what I had seen in the video enough to look into it further. If feeling that good after the birth is a possibility without being poked in the back it looks like something I'd like to try. I can always ask for the poke if I want it.

OVERALL REACTION:
I'm glad I'm taking the class. It will not not be nearly so strange as I feared. I thought most of the information was good and I liked to hear things that came from a different perspective than my own. This is a program I think I can work with. I like the idea that giving birth is something a woman's body knows how to do. I like the idea that the mind has control over the body (duh) and that we can get our minds to expect a positive outcome. A lot of it made perfect sense to me and I just breezed past anything that I didn't agree with. I think the class will be beneficial. I've even started thinking that I'd like to go for an unmedicated delivery. I may as well give it my all if I'm going to spend the money.

HypnoBirthing: Preface (why is the preface always so long?)

2010-08-01T15:31:00.003-07:00

After thinking it over for a while I’ve decided to chronicle my experience with HypnoBirthing as it happens. For one thing, it gives me something to blog about. For another, and more importantly, I want my own record of how I feel about it as it happens for my own future reference. I’m really glad I did that with my last pregnancy.

For starters, I must clarify a couple of things about myself and why I’m trying HypnoBirthing. It has nothing to do with a desire to be natural or use holistic methods or anything like that. When it comes to being natural and holistic, I’m comparable to a Twinkie. mmm…cream-filled goodness… At the root of my decision is a worry that there simply won’t be time for an epidural to be administered when I tell the nursing staff I want pain meds. I also wanted to hold off an epidural for as long as possible to avoid slowing down labor, as happened with my last delivery. The last reason is that I know women who have delivered without pain meds. Some of them chose it and some of them just progressed too quickly. The difference in these women’s opinion of their experience was whether or not they had prepared for it. The ones who had prepared were happy with what happened. The women who hadn’t weren’t so happy. I thought it wise to prepare myself for whatever happens. In the past I have had no desire to have an unmedicated birth. The closest I ever came to that is wondering if I could.

I also think it is necessary to talk a little about my other two deliveries, as they make up the experiences that influence my decisions.

My first delivery was traumatic in every way. Labor was induced at 20 weeks because I had a missed miscarriage (the baby dies, but the body does not immediately miscarry) with my first baby. My husband and I had a cruise planned and we were due to fly out two days after we found out. My doctor gave me the options and suggested an induction because the other two methods, a dilation and evacuation or waiting for my body to miscarry on its own, were less desirable. That was especially true, considering our desire to continue with our vacation plans. The first option had too high a risk for bleeding in the days following and the second option could have put me in labor while at sea, not to mention the emotional baggage of knowing I was carrying a dead baby. My hopes and dreams for a baby had been crushed. I was induced that night with aggressive drugs that are not used in live births. At first I declined the epidural because I knew the baby would be very small and I hoped it would cause less pain. That was a silly thought. It hurt like a beast. I had no idea what I was doing because I hadn’t prepared at all for a delivery. The biggest problem was that the drugs began a tetanic contraction, which is a contraction that peaks and then never comes back down. It was excruciating, particularly when one considers the emotional pain I was in. I finally asked for the epidural and was able to sleep through the rest of the night. The baby was delivered the next morning with no pain, just a feeling of pressure.

We asked that the baby be tested to see what had caused the miscarriage. We didn’t know if it was just a fluke or if it was something genetic that could happen to all our babies. The tests came back inconclusive. That was not a comfort to us. When I became pregnant a second time I was scared to death because I didn’t know if my body could produce a healthy baby. It had never happened before, so I had no assurances that I could expect to carry to full term. As joyful time as it was, it was also terrifying. I knew what I had lived through before and had no desire for a repeat experience. That had a profound effect on how I wanted to deliver for my second pregnancy. I wanted to be in a hospital with all the best technology that could be used at a moment’s notice if the need arose. I knew the chances of something going wrong in the delivery room were minuscule, but that doesn’t matter much to a mother who has previously been one of the few. I wanted it all and I wanted it done by the book.

My second delivery was a much better experience. This time I was able to take my healthy baby home when we left the hospital. It was not a poor experience overall. The nursing staff was knowledgeable, the doctor asked for my preferences when there were choices to be made, and I ended up by holding my daughter. There were also parts I would change. I got lost during shift change and had to wait 45 minutes to start pushing again after I had already started. That was the biggest problem and there were other circumstances around it. They weren’t completely ignoring me, there was just a lapse in communication. I did not like my second nurse, but I didn’t ask to switch because I was afraid I’d have to wait another 45 minutes to get a new one and I was pretty mad. So was my doctor. I pushed a little while I waited and that caused a tear doen below. The tear was going a bad direction and the doctor gave me an episiotomy. I had hoped to avoid an episiotomy, but I preferred an episiotomy to a tear. That preference proved to be correct in my healing process. The last “problem” I had with the delivery was that my epidural wore off. Twice. I didn’t know enough to realize that it was gone when it was time to push. That urge was so strong that it took over the feeling of pain. Aside from those few things, the delivery was just what I hoped for and, as I said before, was not a poor experience. I knew good and well that you can plan all you want, but there are some things about delivery that you just can’t control.

Now, with all that said, I can continue on to why I chose HypnoBirthing. The first time I heard of it I thought it was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. I didn’t know the woman well and thought she was silly for trying it. After her baby was born she told me how it was. I honestly don’t remember much beyond the part where she said there was still some pain associated with the birth. I thought that was the bonehead statement of the century. A year or two later a friend of mine took the HypnoBirthing class. She had an experience similar to mine with her first pregnancy and delivery, though she chose to be unmedicated from the start. Her HypnoBirthing experience was a positive one. I was pregnant with my daughter at the time and was interested to hear what she had to say. However, I was not interested in an unmedicated birth in the slightest. The epidural had been heaven sent in my first delivery and I wanted another one.

When I became pregnant the third time we were in pretty dire financial straits. I applied and was accepted for Medicaid. By that time I had decided I wanted to spend time laboring in the tub to help with pain management until I was ready to ask for the epidural. The Medicaid plans available at the time included either my doctor or the hospital with a tub in every room, but not both. I chose the one that accepted my doctor and was sad to find out that the hospital I would deliver at had only one tub and it was in a room reserved for women planning to have an unmedicated birth. That was not my plan. I started considering what to do to help me cope with pain during the time before the epidural. I thought of HypnoBirthing. There wasn’t much depth to the thought, but it was there. As time went on I was able to switch my Medicaid plan to the one that included both my doctor and preferred hospital. The thought of learning how to cope with the pain before the epidural was still there, so I did a little research. The further into pregnancy I got the more interested I became. That tends to happen when you get closer to your due date and more involved in preparing for childbirth. The more research I did the more I realized that the majority of women who chose HypnoBirthing had a good experience. I decided that it might help and certainly couldn’t hurt. I wanted to just read up on it by myself rather than attend a class. I wasn’t interested in spending time in a class with a teacher and students who vilify the medical profession and process (I happen to really like my doctor, thank you very much) while singing the praises of doing everything naturally all over the floor of their home. I have nothing against natural and/or home births, but that’s so not my style (I’m a Twinkie, remember?). That is what makes some women comfortable. I find comfort in the sterile environment of a hospital with all the latest technology to quickly take care of any possible problems with my baby or myself. After losing my first baby, that is the top priority to me. And I also don’t have to clean it up. Anyway, back to the narrative.

I did more research and asked more questions about the book in hopes that I could just do it on my own. All the information I got told me the book was meant to go with the class and could be confusing on its own. There was a similar course that offered a home study option, but it cost only $25 less than the HypnoBirthing class. If I was going to pay over $100 for the course, I wanted a real teacher to whom I could pose questions. Our financial situation became much more stable and I knew we could afford the class, so I went ahead and signed up. The first class was yesterday and I will go over my reaction to it in a separate post.

I am now of a mind that I may not want to ask for the epidural. I am emphatically not against an epidural, but I won’t ask for it if I feel comfortable enough without one. We’ll see what happens.

My Newest Love

2010-07-27T20:56:00.001-07:00

I am deeply in love. And it's only been a week. I am in love with my new cook book. I actually bought it back in April, but I didn't start using it until last week. It's wonderful. It's perfect. It helps me put good meals on the table. Generally I don't tout a product unless there's some kind of gain involved. This is not the case here. I just really love the cook book. It's called What's For Dinner? and was written by Jana Schofield. I met her at the UVU Women's Expo (remember when I lost my keys?) several months ago and was really excited when I saw what she had. It's a cook book with "30 weeks of menus with practical, easy recipes." It was made for me. Putting dinner on the table has always been a struggle for me because planning the meals is such a dreaded task. Now I don't have to. There are menus (including side dishes!!!) for six days out of the week, with the other day built in to have leftovers, go out, or try a new recipe.

The recipes include normal ingredients and are very basic. I'm not often interested in elaborate recipes for every day, so that's really good for me. The book contains every recipe for every item. There are even recipes to make things from scratch. The first week there are recipes for onion soup mix and french bread if you're looking to save money. Right now my time is more valuable than my money, so I just bought those items. There really is a recipe for everything. There were basic instructions on how to hard boil eggs and bake potatoes. Those with cooking skills can easily breeze over those, while the less-experienced cooks can have an easy reference.

I've made a few modifications for my family and it's worked out beautifully. There is a soup day once a week and we're just not soup people, so I omit that day. Easy cheesy. I also take out the dessert listed with every recipe. We're trying to lose weight (well, I will be trying to lose weight after the baby arrives) and that's easier to do if you don't have sweets in the house. I also buy the low-fat versions of ingredients to cut down on calories. Finally, we make the one week menu last for two weeks. The recipes serve 6-8 people. There are two adults and one toddler in my little family, so that makes for lots of leftovers. I could (and have) easily cut down any given recipe to feed fewer people, but we like the ease of leftovers for lunches and dinners. By the end of this week we might be on the second week of recipes or just finishing up the end of the first week. We'll see. Either way, it really cuts down on the grocery bill.

So, once again, I totally love it. The one and only thing I would change would be to add a shopping list for each week. That's what would work for me, but it's easy enough to just go through and write down what's needed from the weekly recipes. I plan on just keeping a copy of the shopping lists I start making and attach them to the menus with sticky notes or paper clips. Why do the work twice?

Anyway, I highly recommend the cook book for anyone that hates planning menus. Thirty weeks worth of meals gives plenty of variety. If you are so inclined you can look at the book closer at http://www.whatsfordinner1.com. It was $15.99 well spent for me to skip the hassle of menu planning.

If That's All...

2010-07-19T11:16:00.001-07:00

I've been having problems uploading pictures and getting internet access. With this new move we still haven't set up internet, so I can only get on when I'm at my parents' house taking a break from sewing projects. Eventually I will get more interesting.

Recently I count myself very blessed. I have good reason to feel that way. It's wonderful when the only things I have to complain about are being uncomfortably pregnant (which is still a blessing), my inability to own a yellow maternity shirt, and the distance from my house to the church. If that's all I have to whine about the life is more peachy than I can appropriately express. That being said, I'm getting really uncomfortable toward the end of this pregnancy, I can't seem to own a yellow maternity shirt, and I'm irritated that we go to the church four blocks away rather than the one two doors up from our house.

The uncomfortable pregnancy thing is pretty self-explanatory. I'm nine weeks from my due date and have to concentrate to keep from waddling. I have new stretch marks and they located themselves at the front of my belly rather than the sides, which is new. I have to grunt to shift position and Eric is constantly concerned with how I'm doing. I hope this little girl comes before the nine weeks are up.

Last week I ruined my most recently purchased yellow maternity shirt. I had one when I was pregnant the first time, but miscarried before I had time to ruin it. That happened when I was pregnant with Ellie and it was too late in the pregnancy to justify buying another one. I loved it. It was a wonderful sunshine yellow and super soft. Sigh. I miss that shirt. Shortly after getting a positive test this time around I bought another sunshine yellow maternity shirt. It was gauzy and needed another shirt underneath it. I found a perfect match at Shade and was pleased enough that I paid full price for it. The undershirt was ruined a few weeks later thanks to a dye transfer in the wash. I continued to wear it because it went under the other shirt and I was too cheap to buy another. The gauzy shirt was ruined a few days ago. I was working at the kitchen table (it came with the house; it is not our table) when I moved and heard a rip. I looked down to find useless staples sticking out from under the table's edge that had caught on my delicate shirt and put a rip in it. The rip is right on top of my belly, so even with expert seamstressing there is no way to cover it up. Pout. I would probably replace it, but I bought it on clearance and I only have two months (thanks, Danette) of pregnancy left. Dang it.

As for the church situation, we continue our tradition of living very close to one church building but attending another. Our last place was half a block away from the church we didn't go to. When we moved to this place and were told the building two doors down was where we would go we were so excited. Saturday evening Eric went up to find out what time church started and discovered that the close church is being redone (re-roofed at the very least, but probably more than that) and we wouldn't be there for the next eight months. What the? I guess walking to church with the girls when Eric has drill will be a bit more involved that I thought.

Now that I've complained about what's bugging me I'm off to tackle the problems of world hunger and the disintegration of the family.

Moved

2010-07-11T10:20:00.000-07:00

Last post was about how Eric got a raise and a promotion. One reason I was so excited was because the extra money gave us a new housing budget. We decided to raise the budget by $200 so we could find an acceptable place, but still have plenty of wiggle room with our other finances. Money left at the end of the month is a new experience. I'm pretty sure I'll like it.

The same day as the raise I looked for new places on the BYU housing website. It's a good thing my netID and password still work after 5 years. There was a very large basement apartment that I almost wrote off because it was a basement. At the last minute I put it back in the pile of choices to hand to my husband for him to further narrow down. We ended up with 5 or 6 places to drive by and see what they looked like. After driving past those, the list went down to two places to call about and walk through. The basement was one of those places.

A day or two later we went through both places and there was no contest. The basement won hands down. I never thought I'd say that. I swore I would never live in one again, but this basement was...nice. Three bedrooms, 1800 square feet, HUGE master bedroom, tons of storage, and a kitchen with a dishwasher and enough counter space to make you cry. Or actually want to cook. That's all new to me. We called the property manager within an hour of seeing the place and said we would take it. We signed the papers the next day.

Thrilling as it was to get a place we actually wanted to live in, we were a little surprised that the contract started a week earlier than we wanted to move in. July is bad for weekends for us. Eric had drill this weekend, next weekend we will be attending the 7-hour long preliminary meeting before talking with the Rural Housing Development people, and the next weekend is a holiday. Not very convenient. The property manager explained why the lease started earlier than we'd said we wanted to move in and we decided that was a reasonable explanation. So we kind of threw things together at the last minute and moved in yesterday. It was only 8 days from when we found out there was enough budget to move until our big stuff was in the new place. It's been a bit of a whirlwind.

So now we know why I was so frustrated finding a place to live. It just wasn't quite the right time. I felt no hesitation in signing papers and no worries about if we were moving to the right place. That's what I'm used to when looking for housing. The only bad part is that we have discovered spiders since we moved in (I am deathly afraid of spiders), but that's what bug spray is for. It will also encourage me to keep a ridiculously clean house. That's something I've always hoped for, but have never been able to achieve. Now that I won't have the added stress and time consumption of needing to work I can finally do all the "mommy" things I've always wanted to and have never been able to. I'm so excited!

WOWWOWWOWWOWWOW!!!!

2010-07-02T20:06:00.003-07:00

So I'm a little happy and excited. Do you remember this post about Eric getting a job? I was pretty shocked and surprised then. I am no less shocked, surprised, and pleased now as I was then.

When I picked Eric up from work today he asked if I wanted some good news. I told him I did and he said, "We might be able to afford to build a house." (background: We have been very interested in the Rural Housing Development program. It is similar to Habitat for Humanity and allows you to participate in building your own house, as well as the houses of other families in your group.) I knew RHD was out of our price range, so I was really surprised and asked him if we qualified now. The answer was, "Well, maybe in a couple of weeks..." Eric has been applying to other places because his current job is an internship.

Suddenly excited, I asked him if he had an interview lined up. No, he'd already had an interview that afternoon. His boss had called him in and offered him a job. Rather than being a quality assurance intern, he is now the Project Coordinator. So Eric was offered a promotion and a (very) generous raise, which he readily accepted. His boss was worried that it wouldn't be enough money but when you've lived on what we've lived on for as long as we have, it feels like winning the lottery.

I've been wondering if something was up, because Eric's boss kept giving him more responsibilities. I thought that was odd when there were other interns that had been there longer and had more experience. Turns out the added responsibilities were a test to see how he would do. His final "test" was yesterday and he passed it. He was offered the full-time position I mentioned in the other blog post. It is amazing to me how it went from a job Eric wouldn't have considered applying for to the boss not knowing how Eric's resume got on his desk to being offered the very job the boss was looking to fill at the job fair Eric couldn't attend. Amazing, amazing.

So now we're basking in the glow of having enough money to afford a place to live that will be big enough for our needs. That was our big problem in finding housing before. We have a deadline to be gone now, as our room will be needed for my brother when he goes in for open heart surgery. That's a whole other story that I will share at some point. I just thought I would put in the happy. The Lord knows what he's doing with His timing. I'm feeling very blessed and happy. I am so proud of my husband, his hard work, and his dedication. Go Eric!!!

Picture This...

2010-06-26T19:48:00.001-07:00

Picture, if you will, a little girl running across the lawn with the joyful speed and abandon that only an almost-two-year-old can achieve. Picture the girl's six-month pregnant mother bolting away from the car to go after her, flinging a box of diapers from her arms in an attempt to move faster. Picture the little girl coming to the end of the grass, falling from the change in terrain, and sliding across the sidewalk. Picture her mother in two inch heeled sandals, belly swaying and bouncing in an ungainly fashion, trying to both catch up before her daughter slides into the street as well as to avoid trampling over the girl's prone form. Picture the mother succeeding in stopping short of running over her daughter, only to fall (literally) victim to the inertia of a pregnant belly in motion. Picture a little girl lying on the pavement crying while her mother swings her arms frantically to avoid falling on and crushing her daughter. Picture the mother falling forward and finally landing on all fours, not crushing her daughter, but with her limbs acting as a cage for the girl and looking for all the world like an unbalanced hippo in a green t-shirt.

That pretty much describes my morning. Ellie got the worst of it on her wrist and hand. If you look closely you can also see where she scraped the knuckles of her fingers closest to the nail. Both of my knees are scraped and I keep finding places where I must have landed because all kinds of new places are feeling bruised. I hope the people in the cars driving by were amused at the scene.

Bribery Works

2010-06-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

For the last three weeks my daughter has not been feeling well. She's been extra clingy (not one of her usual traits), hasn't been eating well, and has been more fussy. Her only symptoms were a runny nose and puffy eyes, so I chalked it all up to allergies and the onset of the terrible twos. Then on Saturday she started to cough. On Sunday it was worse and on Monday morning it was bad enough to make her cry. I set up an appointment with the doctor for the same day.

It turns out she has some kind of viral thing going on in her little lungs. It's probably like what she had back in November, but that was bronchitis. She was prescribed a liquid steroid and an inhaler to open up her lungs and reduce the inflammation. Not fun for daughter and not fun for Mommy.

The steroid is a nasty tasting liquid and we tried several things to get her to take it. Note: do NOT put the steroid liquid in strawberry milk to disguise it. It doesn't work. We're still diluting what's left of the nasty strawberry milk to get her to take it and not waste what little we have left in the bottle. We just gave her the first huge dose (10 ml as opposed to the regular 2 ml for every dose after the first) in a syringe and a spoon. She took it much better than the adulterated strawberry milk.

The inhaler is the real problem. The kid won't have anything to do with it. She screams and squirms and wiggles until I can't hold her in place. I started offering a piece of chocolate for every breath she takes with the inhaler. No go; she didn't care about the bribe. Last night Eric had to hold her down while I plugged her nose. Then I gave her the chocolate.

This morning I steeled myself for another inhaler fight. I showed her the inhaler and said she could have chocolate after she took a breath. As I brought the inhaler closer she opened her mouth and let me put it in. I pushed the little can and she took a breath. I was stunned! While I stood there wondering what had changed she said, "chocolate," and started looking for it. I told her if she took one more breath I'd give her two pieces of chocolate. There was a little bit of fussing, but she opened her mouth and took a breath again. I guess it's all about proper motivation.

For Your Enjoyness

2010-06-22T07:50:00.002-07:00

We got the saying in the title from an instruction booklet that was badly translated into English. Sometimes that's half the fun of an instruction book. Anyway, I'm posting this picture "for your enjoyness." It was in a box of maternity clothes a friend lent me. I think something was lost in the translation from the original owner's body to my own. Have much enjoyness.

Sexy, no?

Busy Day

2010-06-19T20:56:00.001-07:00

We're officially worn out. Today was long, but great.

9:30 After breakfast I did some sewing to finish Ellie's baby contest costume while she and Eric played in the sprinkler outside. I also got a phone call about an urgent alteration a customer needed to his suit, so I worked on that, too.

10:30 Our insurance guy came over with papers to sign that will get us a lower rate on our car insurance. Hooray for saving an extra $20 a month including adding on renter's insurance.

11:30 Ellie's nap started around the time I finished work on the suit. I don't remember what I did in that time period other than tweaking one of Ellie's hair bows to include red and white striped fabric. I probably should have taken a nap like my daughter did.

12:45 Once Ellie was done sleeping we tried to feed her. That didn't work very well, so I styled Ellie's hair in preparation for the contest. We dressed her after that.

1:30 Eric dropped us off for the contest. We stood in a long line to have Ellie judged. Trying to keep her entertained was difficult.

2:25 Judging for Ellie finished after what seemed an eternity standing in line. I had hoped this year would be as much fun as last year, but it was much less fun. There wasn't time for us to do all the extra activities they had. We watched Up for about 10 minutes before it was time to change Ellie's diaper and head down to the awards ceremony.

3:10 Awards ceremony starts (late). Ellie was...uncooperative. She didn't want to sit in a chair after she'd been made to stand in line.

3:30 Ellie's name was called as the second place winner in the costume category for her age group. Woohoo! I must say she rocked her little waitress costume.

3:45 Eric arrives to pick us up and gets there in time to snap a few pictures of us on stage with the other winners. There were more than are pictured. The picture shows a couple of the other second place winners.

4:00 We stop home briefly to pick up more diapers before heading to Eric's dad's house for an extended family picnic.

4:30 We finished getting a couple of things for the picnic and got on the freeway. It then took us an hour to get from Lindon to Sandy because of traffic at point of the mountain. There was road construction that should have been happening, but no one working and the road wasn't torn up. Those two extra lanes would have been nice...

5:30-7:30 Picnic with family. I have no further timeline on what we did, but it was fun. It was especially cute to watch Ellie playing with the other kids. She doesn't get that exposure often. The other kids know how to rough house. Ellie does not, but she's a good sport and seemed to even enjoy it a little bit. There was good conversation and yummy food. Do you really need more than that?

So now the pregnant lady is exhausted. I just wanted to document the day while I still remember it. Tomorrow it will all be gone. I'll also leave you with the picture of the dress I made for the age category contest and that Ellie will be wearing to church on the 4th of July. So cute. The dress isn't too bad, either.

Housing: The Search Continues

2010-06-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you're stuck in a rut and, no matter what you do, you can't get out of it? That's how I'm feeling about our search for housing. Thankfully (or not, depending on how you look at it) we don't have a deadline by which we must move into a new place. That has taken a lot of the stress off.

For the past month or so we've been seriously looking at places to rent. We've walked through several and driven past even more. Twice we have been close to signing papers that would allow us to move in. Both times something came up and I just couldn't do it. There wasn't really any big reason, it just didn't feel right. I don't know why it should be such a big deal; the longest we would have been locked into a contract is a year. You can live almost anywhere for a year...and we have. Our first place was a little spider hole, but that's a story for another time.

We drove past a few more places tonight and all but one were quickly shot down. They were either too small, the neighborhoods were too scary, or, as was the case with one house, the ratty old rocking recliners on the porch of our potential upstairs neighbors were a little too...white trash. I wonder if maybe our standards are higher than our price range. We've never had so much trouble finding acceptable housing before. I really hope it's because there is something better on the horizon and we just need to be patient. Patience is not a quality I'm known for.

Neither Shot Nor Slashed

2010-06-09T16:49:00.000-07:00

Post title translation: I got a gang-banger and his wife mad at me. Like, really mad. The mad-enough-to-hang-out-a-moving-car-window-and-yell-at-me kind of mad. They were in a mini van and wanting to turn on to a busy street that I was on. I noticed them as I slowed to stop for the red light. I assumed they wanted to turn right, though there was no turn signal to let me know. I decided I would let them in front of me when the light changed green because they had been waiting there longer than I was. That decision changed when the light turned green. The driver (wearing a wife beater, fully tattooed from wrist to shoulder, and wearing a sour expression) decided to force his way in rather than wait. I am usually happy to yield right of way in that situation, but I'm not happy about it when someone forces their way in. Not very nice of me, but there it is. It's not nice of them, either. Or legal.

Back to the story, as I changed my decision I shook my head to myself and said "no". Bad move. They saw me do that and looked really upset. Stubborn cuss that I am, I continued to shake my head and said "no" again as I moved forward with my green light, effectively blocking them from butting in line. The car behind me was nice enough to let them in. It was either that or the car let them in because the butting car was completely blocking the right turn lane by trying to force their way in. Anyway, they immediately sped up and pulled alongside my car. I wasn't interested in seeing any nasty looks or crude gestures, so I didn't look over. The wife was yelling something at me I couldn't understand, though. I was just glad there wasn't a gun pointed at me. The van then pulled straight in front of me and I was afraid they were going to do a brake job. They didn't, but the woman then leaned half of her body (I am totally serious; I could see her hips) out the window to continue yelling and gesturing at me. Lucky for me, I had reached my destination and turned into the parking lot before there was time for her to throw anything at me. I was a little worried that they would come back and slash my tires (or me), but that didn't happen. They were just really, really mad.

The funny thing about it is that, once the van pulled in front of me, I recognized it. I don't know the drivers, but the sticker in the car's back window was one I saw yesterday. When I told Eric about it and what was in the back window he remembered it, too. I guess that means there's a chance I'll see them yet again. Not a happy prospect, but maybe they get all their anger out by yelling while they hang out of car windows. A girl can hope, right?

Check Out My Sis-in-Law!

2010-06-02T19:34:00.001-07:00

My sister-in-law, Shellee, is awesome in so many ways. The specific way that I want to point out today is her expertise as a decorator. We've been over to their place a couple of times since she and Aaron (my husband's brother) got married. I never remember to actually say anything, but I love what she's done with everything. She has a real talent for seeing the potential in a space or a piece of furniture and making that potential into a reality. Just take a look at the picture she has on the blog she has started for her new business. That table and chair set has been passed along a few times. It looks better now than it ever did. I've seen other jobs Shellee has done and everything is gorgeous. If you ever have a reason to be in the counseling office of Westlake High School you'll be able to see an example of the incredible work she does. Check out her new blog and let other people know about it.

http://shelleeandsuedesign.blogspot.com

Happy Memorial Day

2010-05-31T16:04:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken this morning at the zoo right after the bird show. We went there with my in-laws and really enjoyed ourselves. I love that I was able to spend the morning with the people I love. I really appreciated that during the bird show they thanked all those serving or who had served in the armed forces. That is always a subject dear to my heart, as I have had many family members in the military. My husband is in the National Guard, my father in law recently retired after many years serving in the Guard, my grandfather served in the Korean War and missed my father's birth while there, and I have several other family members that have chosen to do what they can to protect our freedoms. It was a wonderful day and a good time to remember those who sacrifice so much.

I Really Meant It, Sir.

2010-05-16T19:46:00.001-07:00

A couple of months back I was in a checkout line at a store in the mall and overheard the customer in front of me as she checked out. The employee asked for an email address and the customer politely refused. It was an Aha! moment for me to realize that I don't simply have to rattle off my phone number and email address at any store that happens to ask for it. I can politely opt out of ever getting those messages. Brilliant! I'd simply never thought about it before. It is now my common practice to say, "No, thank you. Not today." No one has ever hassled me about it. Until yesterday.

Last week I bought some lotion and perfume as a birthday gift. Inside my bag there was a coupon for a free item when you spend $10. I kept it, thinking I would probably come back and choose a scent to use. Yesterday I did just that. I went to the register with my $10 item and the one I wanted free. The guy at the register said that with the coupon and the current sale I could get two items free if I purchased two. I thanked him and told him I only wanted the two items. He checked to see that I was sure. Yes, I was sure. But I could have four items instead of two. No, I was fine with the two. Then he asked for my phone number and I gave him my usual line. He asked for my email address and I told him I would prefer not to give it. He said I could receive coupons through email. No, thank you, I don't actually shop here that often. So he should just keep the coupon identical to the one I'd just given him? That was fine; I didn't plan to use it. With one last "okay..." that indicated how foolish I was to pass up such a sweet offer he finally gave me my bag with the two items I wanted. I smiled and left. Now I'll say what I wanted to, but only thought.

Dude, I don't want the coupons. When I say "no" I mean it. That declaration is not an invitation to persuade me. It never has been. Ask any of the guys I dated and they'll confirm it. And...a lotion store? Really? It kind of creeps me out that you're so enthusiastic about your product. My husband wouldn't use any of your products if his skin were falling off from dryness. Too much smell. And, yes, I still mean "no."

Now I feel better. I've been laughing about it for two days.

Lost Keys

2010-05-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm bowing to the request of my husband in writing the second half of the story about my missing keys. A week after replacing them I found that slippery little keychain. I saw one of my sandals running into the bottom of the bed skirt on Eric's side and went to retrieve it. When I picked it up I saw a pair of jeans peeking out from under the bed. As I bent down to them up I noticed a maternity panel. I was surprised mine had made it there, but didn't think too much about it. What surprised me even more was when the jeans jingled. There was a disbelieving, "noooooo...." that escaped my lips. I didn't remember getting the keys back from Ellie and I didn't remember changing clothes after the expo before Eric asked for them, but I guess that's what happened. At least now we each have our own car key and a spare. True pregnant brain.

Great, Awesome, Fantastic (insert every other good and superlative word here) Day!

2010-05-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

Eric's graduation day (April 30) was an insanely busy but perfect day. It started early by running a couple of errands, then dashing home to get ready in time for Commencement. Eric and I parted ways early so he could line up and I could save seats. That ended up being fairly unnecessary, as the Events Center at UVU only looked about half full once the graduates started walking in. A lot of people decided to skip it. I left early to go save seats for Convocation. That was slated to start about 30 minutes after Commencement ended and we knew there would be no seats available unless they were saved early. I got to cheer with Stephanie and Mike while Eric walked in. That was a beautiful and emotional moment. It was wonderful to see this as part of the culmination of the work Eric has put in to get done with school. He looked so happy (and handsome) walking across the floor in the procession.

I stayed long enough to hear the University president and Student Body president give their addresses before rushing off to the gym where Eric would be walking across the stage. Sufficient seats were saved and I sat in a nearly empty room for quite a while. Thank goodness I'd brought my cross stitch for something to do. It was a good thing I went in when I did because it ended up being standing room only by the time the graduates and faculty were seated. I was joined by Eric's dad and grandma, mom and stepdad, and brother and sister, as well as my parents, brothers, sister in law, and niece. Ellie was there, too. She livens up any event. It made for a good cheering section. We were lucky enough to get a few moments with Eric before he had to step out to line up again. Hugs were shared all around and we were all so proud of him.

The Convocation meeting was, I think, a little more meaningful for everyone. One of the things I appreciated about this meeting was the way they talked about the university and its open enrollment policy. So many of the graduates would not have had the opportunity to be in a college graduation without it. One of the valedictorians started school after a round of layoffs at work when he had three children. His high school GPA was a 1.16 or something like that, which would have kept him out of many other schools. In the years that had passed between high school and attending UVU he gained the motivation he needed to do well and try hard in school. It paid off and opened up opportunities he would not have had otherwise.

Watching Eric walk across the stage to receive his diploma was thrilling. Again, he looked so happy and excited to be there and finishing up his last bit of school. We all yelled and cheered and loved being there.

Immediately after the ceremonies we headed over to Porter's Place in Lehi. We figured it was better to go further from the school to get something to eat. It worked well, as the place was nearly deserted when we arrived. Great conversation was complimented by the presence of two cute little girls on the end of the table. One of the funniest times when we gave Ellie the card I'd given Eric. It makes noise and she was completely stunned. There was quite the roar of laughter.

While at Porter's Place we had Eric open his graduation stuff. It was mostly cards saying nice things because the real gift was something that several of us chipped in on. We got him a Nook and he (and I) have been playing with it ever since. It's way cool. It was a great way to end the day, as we were simply too exhausted for anything else.

We feel so blessed that Eric has finished his schooling and that he already has a job to go into. We expected it to take a few months to find a job, but we were pleasantly surprised. The next day we bought Eric a new work wardrobe with the money from book buy back and graduation. Now he's all ready to move on to what everyone calls the real world. Everyone wishes Eric luck in his endeavors and we're all so proud of him. I'll post pictures when I get them.

Thank You

2010-04-27T14:54:00.002-07:00

Thank you, Eliana, for asking to play with my keys then dropping them when you got bored.

Thank you, pregnant brain, for making me forget I had given the keys to Eliana while in the UVU Event Center.

Thank you, UVU Event Center, for getting back to me so quickly after I contacted you about my lost keys. In this case bad news was better than no news.

Thank you, Eric, for not scolding me about losing the only key to our car.

Thank you, Brent Brown car dealership in Orem, for trying to rip me off 100% of the times I've been there for any reason. If you hadn't done that I wouldn't have insisted on finding a different dealership to replace my key. I knew $150 for one key was an exorbitant amount.

Thank you, Doug Smith Autoplex in American Fork, for giving me a much more reasonable price for a replacement key. Now we have two keys for half the price I would have had to pay for one.

Thank you, Eric, for knowing me well enough to understand that I prefer to fix my own mistakes and standing back to allow me to do just that.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for lending me a car while mine was keyless.

Thank you, Grandpa, for bringing a towing dolly to get me to Doug Smith Autoplex so I didn't have to pay for a tow truck.

Finally, thank you, staff at Doug Smith Autoplex, for sticking to the price you quoted and for employing married men. There's nothing wrong with single men, it's just that married men understand that sometimes women (particularly pregnant ones) get hormone overdoses and can cry a lot when road construction blocks all the visible entrances to the dealership. They know to keep their mouths shut and look sympathetic for their own good.

While I would have preferred to never lose my keys, at least the cost was greatly reduced from what I expected and now we have two car keys.

Vote for Ellie!

2010-04-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

I entered my daughter into the Parents magazine cover model contest. The prize for 10 finalists is a trip to New York. I'm all over that! The grand prize of having their picture on the cover isn't what I'm interested in, but it would be a fun thing to keep. Anyway, the contest people were supposed to send me the link for people to vote on her picture on Monday at midnight, when voting began. I had to write to the people to find out why I never got the link. I only received it this afternoon, so I'm two days behind everyone else on the ability to vote. Help, help! You can vote once per day until Sunday night at 11:59. Please vote for her everyday for every computer you can get to. Hopefully that will help her catch up with everyone else and have a fighting chance. There is also the possibility that the judges will choose her as a finalist, but I feel like I have more control over asking people to vote for her. Just follow the link below and it'll take you straight there. Thanks!

http://photos.parents.com/category/vote/photo/233734

A Job!!!

2010-04-19T19:49:00.000-07:00

This story needs telling. I feel I would be leaving something out if I neglected to say how sure I am of Divine intervention in Eric's new job. If you had told me two weeks ago that Eric would have this job lined up before he graduated I would have laughed at you. Okay, I wouldn't have laughed at you; I would have reminded you that Eric is graduating in math, not computer science.

Last week as I dropped Eric off at school i noticed a sign posted for a job fair on campus that day. I asked if he planned on going to it. He told me his schedule didn't permit it and I didn't think about it anymore.

When I picked Eric up from school that afternoon he told me he had emailed a resume to someone from the job fair. As it turns out, one of Eric's classmates had attended and brought back the information for a company here in town. It looked interesting and Eric sent in his resume.

On Friday I got a phone call from a man named Paul who told me he had received Eric's resume and wanted to do a phone interview. Eric was still at work and we chatted for a bit before he gave me his phone number to pass along to Eric. The part that stuck out to me was when he told me he wasn't sure how Eric's resume ended up on his desk.

After I picked Eric up from work I told him Paul had called. I was surprised to learn that the job was a paid internship doing software testing and (I think) development. The two of them spoke on the phone and everything went very well. They set up a time for an interview this afternoon.

The interview obviously went very well, because he was offered the internship before he left the office. There was also an opening for a regular full time position, but Paul told Eric he couldn't offer it to him because he didn't have any experience. They spoke briefly about the possibility of Eric taking it if no one else came up by the end of the summer. Paul also knows that there are other places Eric has applied and is still waiting to hear back from. The internship pays almost $3 an hour more than Eric is making now and we're really happy about that. We just feel really positive about this opportunity and are grateful it came our way.

A Joke For the Women

2010-04-15T16:05:00.002-07:00

My mom sent this to me in an email. After having done childbirth twice already and getting ready for round three in a few months I thought it was great.

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.

Uno Face

2010-04-11T20:42:00.001-07:00

I'm not very familiar with Lady Gaga (or is it GaGa?), but I still thought the Divine Comedy interpretation was great.

Enjoy.