Thanksgiving Instructions

There are a lot of people out there who may have already seen this, but I'm posting it, anyway.  I took this directly from www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com.  It was submitted by a woman who received the email from a friend related to the woman who wrote the instructions.  If you thought your family was uptight about occasions, just be glad you aren't related to this burst of sunshine.


From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

HJB—Dinner wine

The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney
(kindly submitted by Kara at http://californiakara.blogspot.com)

So Glad They're Not My Parents

Obviously this guy Bruno is fake, but I hope beyond all hope that the parents are actors too.

A Little Plug

I started a portfolio blog recently, but I still have a lot of updates to put on.  Take a look at it and see if you like it.  If you have any pointers for me, let me know.

http://goddessofsewing.blogspot.com

Sigh of Relief and Happy Giggles

My dad has been having some more heart stuff recently so they did a stress test last week and wouldn't give him the results over the phone.  That's never encouraging.  They decided to do an angiogram and that happened this morning.  We've all been nervous, but it turns out the only necessary intervention is with medication.  We're so happy they don't have to open him up again.  Thinking about it is almost enough to bring tears of relief to my eyes, but I don't have time to cry.  Too much else going on.

I also included a video my aunt Barbara sent to me.  It made me laugh on a morning I really needed it.  Hope you enjoy it, too.  It's the silent monks singing the Hallelujah Chorus.  There are other versions on YouTube, but this one is short and kind of nice that way.

Honor Code

There are a lot of people out there who disagree with the Honor Code at BYU.  That's totally fine.  Everyone is free to make their choices.  You don't have to live the Honor Code if you don't choose to go to school at BYU.  However, once you sign it you agree to live by its standards.  So don't complain if there are consequences when you break the rules.

Rant finished.

Change That Diaper

You know the game Name That Tune?  Two players are given a clue and start bidding on how many notes they need to hear to name the song.  The first player chooses a number (I can name that tune in 8 notes!) and the next player thinks seriously before choosing a number smaller than that.  Eventually one player will contemplate his song-choosing abilities and decide to tell the other player to, "Name that tune!" The correct number of notes is played and we find out whether or not the last player to bid is as good as he professes himself to be.  Pretty basic.

Sometimes changing diapers can be a little tedious and disgusting.  Actually, it's always tedious and disgusting.  Without really thinking about it I came up with a mental game to play while I go about the task.    It's similar to Name That Tune, but I call it Change That Diaper.  After opening my child's offensive diaper I survey the damage and think, "I can change that poopy with [x number] of wipes."  I try to keep it to 3 or less, depending on the severity of the diaper.  Then I go to work and see if I'm as good as I think I am.  When I'm really feeling skilled I'll make my wipes bid based on what I smell rather than what I see.  I'm quite the daredevil that way. The only prize at the end is a tightly wrapped diaper, but it gives me something to do to stave off the monotony.

I have not suggested playing this game to my husband.  I know exactly how it would play out each and every time.

Husband:  The baby's poopy.  I can change that diaper with 3 wipes.
Me:  [pause for dramatic effect]  Change that diaper!

Husband: The baby's poopy. I can change that diaper with 5 wipes.
Me: [pause for dramatic effect] Change that diaper!

Husband: The baby's poopy. I can change that diaper with 8 wipes.
Me: [pause for dramatic effect] Change that diaper!

My response would be the same if the challenge was 200 wipes.  I'm happy to let anyone else change that diaper!

Sherpani

Do you need a hiking backpack for your kiddo?  They've got a discount and giveaway a Sherpani carrier here!