We've all seen lists of funny things that students write on tests, essays, or other assignments. I, sadly, did not teach long enough or have writing assignments enough to make my own collection of student mistakes. What I will include below comes from term papers and answers to exam questions given to undergrad history students at BYU. The professor is the dad of a guy I went to high school with who was a friend of my cousin, but wouldn't know me from Adam. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Suicide was viewed as an even greater evil than getting married.
History in the past has become a very dull and boring subject to read about due to the materials being published in the past 20 years.
They opened fire and riddled him with bullets. He had been shot.
As patriarchal controls relaxed, sexual freedom was explanded, shown by a sharp rise in prenuptial marriages and illegitimate children.
There are many reasons why the lives of infants was short in Europe. The most well-known reason may be that babies just died very quickly.
Clocks came to be an ally for the manager in forcing the people to work on time and to get assignments done when tolled.
Most brothels were considered acceptable because they contained venereal disease.
Mendel: Through his experimenting with crossing mice and peas he made discoveries about genetics.
To be buried in sacred ground was a matter of grave importance.
Q: Leonard Arrington mentions five biases in Mormon History. List and discuss them.
A: I don't remember them except that most of them were words not commonly used around me or by me.
At the last minute the crusade was called off, but the peasentry refused to dismember.
In Peter's heroic effort to educate the backward nation, he made one himalayan blonder.
Michaelangelo: a painter who liked to dabble with nudes.
Magellan: a Spanish explorer who circumsized the world.
Botticelli: Painter, painted a lady in a shell.
Q: List the seven sacraments of the Catholic church and define their meanings.
A: No. 7 Holy Uterus. I don't know what it means, but it has something to do with the virgin birth.
The French Revolution was caused by the nobles. They wouldn't pay their bills, no bills. That's why they were called nobles.
I'm sorry, but I didn't like your questions so much, so I decided to write on the ones that were more interesting and meaningful to me. [The student answered questions from the study list that were not on the exam.]
World War I came when it did. It could have been postponed but it had to come sometime.
Everything had to start at one point sometime.
Since they could not speak, they were thought to be dumb.
The bicycle was created the later the car. These two conveniences made travel quicker and time shorter. The distance between point A and point B was drastically decreased.
Many of the pupils could only watch in awe as they saw Victor climb trees and urinate on the ground. Eager to relieve himself of the burden which he did not want to deal with . . .