Why Big Trucks Are The Devil

For a long time I have been convinced that really big trucks are of the devil. Over the past several months, my feelings have proven to be more true than they should be. I will defend my rant by giving you easy-to-read points, organized in a logical manner.

1. Big trucks block others' field of vision. How many times have you come to an intersection to turn right, only to have a big truck pull up next to you and make a safe turn impossible? I'd wager it happens a lot.

2. Big trucks speed and tailgate most of the time. They also weave through traffic and do other stupid driving things. I was going to say that the only person I know who doesn't drive stupid in a big truck is my cousin. Then I remembered that he put himself in the hospital a few years back while being stupid as he drove his big truck. They just drive stupid. Tell me it's not true. That's what I thought. (Did I use the word stupid enough?)

3. Big trucks take up a lot of space. Particularly when they park on both sides of your reasonably-sized car. Speaking of parking...

4. Big trucks don't care how many spaces they take up, so long they can park. Case in point: every morning at work I try to get there early enough to claim just one of the six spaces that are the easiest to get in and out of. If I don't make it in time all six spaces are taken by no more than three big trucks. This morning they were taken by only two. The white truck took up four all by itself. And these trucks are parked there not because the owners are customers, but because they are going to the restaurant that has way more parking than we do.

5. Big trucks are a status symbol. This is demonstrated in such practical ways as the enormous lifts owners put on them. Before long NASA will be able to launch satellites by simply having big truck drivers toss them out the window. And, much like the SUV, big trucks used to have a purpose. SUVs were for hauling large families, big trucks were for hauling big loads in the back. That purpose is completely lost on many people now. Take, for example, this conversation I overheard at church:

Scout Leader 1: So for the camp out this weekend I'll drive the boys and you can haul the camping gear.

Scout Leader 2: But...that would scratch up the finish on my truck bed.

SL1: You're joking right?

SL2: I just had it put in two weeks ago. Do you think we could borrow the bishop's truck?

That was about the time I rolled my eyes and walked away.