Saturday, December 15, 2007

Men: Don't Read This. Trust Me.

You know how sometimes you completely waste a morning by playing on the internet and sometimes you stumble onto things that surprise (read: horrify) you? I found just such a thing this morning. My apologies to any "natural" women who choose to continue reading.

The product I found this morning offers an alternative to tampons and pads during everyone's favorite (and most comfortable) time of the month. It is called the DivaCup and has, apparently, been around since the 1930s. It's a silicone cup that is made to be inserted into your business end to catch the stuff you want caught. They list all kinds of positive features (they're selling it, of course they'll list the good features) like the ease of use, sanitation, environmental-friendliness, and cost-effectiveness. Heck, you only need one and it is sold at the bargain basement price of just $35. Basically, you fold, insert, and get the suction to take over. If you have any questions you can always look at the glowing testimonials. Here is my favorite example:

"Diva, this is for you:

Because of this Diva I don,
I am no longer a slave to the 'pon
It fills me with glee,
To know that I'm free,
And saving this world we live on.

I go through my day with ease,
There is no string there to tease,
It catches it all,
Before it does fall,
I now live without boundaries.

So now when I go to the John,
There's nothing for me to check on!
And it is so great,
To know that my fate,
Is not in a Kotex nap'kon.

Diva must have come from the gods,
I think they have the best odds,
To have made something great,
That seems so innate,
And all who know share applause!

Clare from Alaska"

If that's not enough to convince you, just take a look at what you get when you order now!

"Every DivaCup™ order includes a discreet drawstring carry bag, full instructions, and an extra pamphlet to share. We also include an exclusively designed Diva pin with silver accents , that we hope you can proudly wear to show your support and help us spread the word about this amazing product!"

Who wouldn't want to distribute pamphlets about menstrual hygiene? Even better than that, who wouldn't want to proudly wear an exclusively designed Diva pin with silver accents everywhere they go? You can advertise something really personal so that people who ask you about it can regret they opened their mouths. It's like a bumper sticker that says, "I pick my nose, ask me about the benefits."


Carrie & Karl said...

Did you know there are also washable pads? They're also good for the environment. (Sorry, that's not a good enough reason for me.)

Della Hill said...

(I'm Della, Carrie's sister).
Okay, that's really funny. Kind of scary in an Oh-My-Gosh, can they be serious? kind of way. What gets me in the cleanup. The whole situation is bad enough all by itself, but now they want me to wash out a little plastic cup full of... well, you know. (Gross).