Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Scoring for Men

My dad emailed this to me for Valentines Day my first year of college (9 years ago!) and I liked it so well that I still have the printed copy.

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: make the woman happy.

*Do something she likes and you get point.
*Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
*You don't get any points for doing something she expects! Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties
---------------
You take out the recyclables and stack them neatly by the curb......+1
You take out the recyclables at 4:30 am, as the truck pulls away.....-1

You load the dishwasher whenever you dirty a dish.......+1
You leave dishes in the sink.............-1
You leave them under the bed........-5

You leave the toilet seat up.............-1
You leave the toilet seat up in the middle of the night (and she's pregnant)......-20
You replace the toilet paper roll when it's empty..........0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex......-1
When the Kleenex runs out, you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom......-2

You make the bed.............+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.......0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..........-1

You make sure there's plenty of gas in the car for her......+1
You make sure there's barely enough fumes in the car to make it to the nearest gas station.......-1

You check out a suspicious noise at night......0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing......0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.......+10
It's her father..........-10

Social Engagements
--------------------
You stay by her side the entire party.........0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy....-2
Named Tiffany...........-4
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly.....+1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the ol' ball and chain" and pat her on the rump.......-5

Flowers
--------
You buy her flowers only when it's expected..........0
You don't buy her flowers when it's expected.....-10
You buy her flowers as a surprise...........................+5
You give her wild flowers you've actually picked yourself......+10
And she contracts Lyme disease..................-25

Driving
--------
You lose the directions on a trip.............-4
You lose the directions on a trip and end up getting lost...-10
You end up getting lost in a bad part of town............-15
You get lost ina bad part of town and meet the locals up close and personal....-25
She finds out you lied about having a black belt..........-60

Any score lower then -5, throw him out.

1 comment:

Amber said...

This is hiarious, thanks for sharing!