What I Really Wanted to Say

You ever have those times when you have so much your brain wants to say, but your sense of social etiquette won't allow it? That was today.

Intro:
About a month ago I worked the Successful Mothering Expo. I met a woman and her questionable-looking husband who decided that hosting an Usborne show (don't worry, this isn't a marketing post) would be a good way to get free books for the baby they are expecting in July. That show was scheduled for this morning at 11 am. After the show was set up I realized that it would take place in Kearns (about 50 miles from my house) and that she left me her email, but not her phone number. Over the course of the next few weeks I tried, unsuccessfully, to contact her to see how her preparation was going and if she had any questions. There was never a response. I might also add that she seemed a little deficient in the intelligence department. That might explain a few things.

Story:
This morning I arrived at this woman's house with my display set and my new rack (that's me being excited that my very own book rack arrived this week), ready to set up for the show. When I knocked on the door, my hostess opened it and said, "I'm sorry." It went downhill from there and the zip on my lip became harder to keep shut. What I said is in regular type and what I really wanted to say is in italics. Here are some highlights.

Hostess: I'm sorry, but it will just be me. We got really busy.
Me: Oh, that's okay. I understand how it goes. Do you just want to reschedule? You didn't invite anyone? At all?
Hostess: Well, you came all this way. You can still show me.
Me: We can just pull out my schedule and find a time that works for you. You and your husband creeped me out a little when I met you. I'd rather not go in your house alone. You could be crazy psycho killers just waiting for an unsuspecting victim to enter your home. Besides, I drove all this way to sell books, not pull them out for no one to see.
Hostess: Why don't you just come in? There were a couple of things I was looking at.

Hostess: My husband would be here, too, but he has an appointment.
Me: Okay.
A few minutes later:
Me: If your husband is at an appointment, who's that snoring in the other room?

Hostess: I'm sorry you had to come all this way. I lost your phone number and didn't realize until today that it was in all the emails you sent me. I called you, but you were already gone.
Me: (irritated by that statement, but laughing to try to soften it) Yeah, it is in the emails. I had to drop off baby pictures at my in-laws' house, anyway. How hard would it have been to just reply to one of the emails and tell me no one was invited? Or better yet, to have sent me your phone number when I requested it? That would have saved me a heck of a lot of grief.

Hostess: These are the books I want to invest in, but we're all out of money for the month.
Me: Is there a time you want to reschedule your party for when it works for you so you can get the books free?
Hostess: Well...[launches into a disjointed story about everyone she knows that has an eventual conclusion that no one will be able to come and that she can't buy the books she wants] I didn't want to waste your time.
Me: When you have the money you can give me a call or order online. Honey, this is not a social call. Not inviting anyone IS a waste of my time. And gas. And babysitting favors from the in-laws.

Hostess: Is the money due before or after I get the books?
Me: It's due when you order. After all your stories about a bill going to collections, not trusting the bank, the company that is trying to get your husband's credit score above "zero", the other company that is trying to get money out of an account you purposely keep no money in, and all your comings and goings and social events at the Rent-to-Own place down the street...yeah, I'm gonna need the money first. And I would prefer it in cash.

I really could go on (and on and on) about how this whole meeting went, but it would be a lot of the same and with a few more disturbing details. I was there for 45 minutes trying to salvage something from the time and gas I spent to get to her non-show. Obviously I needed to vent about this. In the end I have decided that I'm just glad they're not psycho killers looking for their next victim. And that they didn't sic their big, barking dog at me. I also got to spend a little more time at my in-laws chatting and playing with the baby. How was your day?