There are times when I don't love being a woman. Those are usually the times when my husband pities my womanliness. I am referring to mood swings. I don't imagine any woman likes her mood swings. We don't want to be emotional, irrational beasts any more than anyone else does. We can't help it, okay!
Last night my husband was on the receiving end of a swing. I picked him up from work and we decided to get something to eat immediately, rather than waiting to get home and fix it. I was driving and asked where he wanted to go. Eric's quick reply was that Panda Express sounded good to him. I wrinkled my nose (it didn't sound appealing) but did not have another suggestion. After thinking about it I decided that we would still go to Panda Express because Eric wanted it and I couldn't think of anything else. I forgot to tell my husband of my decision, so he thought he was just along for the ride and I thought he knew where I was going. As I was about to change lanes to get to the nearest Panda Express my hubby told me I didn't have time to make it. I reassessed my strategy (to which, I mention again, Eric was oblivious) and realized I'd had time to get over before, but that time had passed. I was irritated, but decided to just go to the next one down, a few miles away and easier to get to now that we had passed the first. Eric asked where we were going and I told him. He replied that we had just passed Panda Express a moment before and innocently asked if I'd forgetten it. Bad move. My irritation did not subside after I learned I had not told him of my intended destination. Blame the female hormones for that.
My husband determined the second Panda was too far from home and our food would be cold before we got there. Good logic, but bad for that irritation level. I passed through side streets to get back to the main road to go back to the first Panda. Before we got there Eric reminded me there was a third Panda Express even closer to home and we decided to go there. I had by now decided that I really wasn't interested in anything on their menu, but that was no reason to deny my husband what he wanted. I would find something else at home. I had also realized that the Panda closer to home was the same one at which we had been stuck in line for 40 agonizing minutes, only to learn that they were all out of the only two dishes I wanted. That had been a moody day, too (funny how Panda Express beigns that out of me), and left me a crying mess before we even got to the pick up window. Fun times.
Dread filled me as I came closer to the restaurant, knowing there could be an enormous line and I wasn't going to get anything, anyway. Tears would be inevitable if i went to the drive-thru, so I avoided it and parked. The baby was asleep in the car, so Eric asked what I wanted him to get. The conversation went like this:
Me: Nothing. I didn't want anything from Panda today; it all tastes the same to me.
Eric: Well, if you don't want anything let's go somewhere else.
Me: This is what you want, so go in and order. I'll get something at home.
Eric: I didn't know you weren't going to get anything, so it's not worth it just for me. I'll eat at home, too.
Me: (staring menacingly at the steering column) I drove around and around to get you here so you can get what you want. I don't know what I want, so you may as well have what you'd like.
Eric: No, it's fine. I'll eat at home.
Me: (transferring the menacing stare to my husband) It would really make me happy if you ate here, so go in and order something.
As a smart man, my husband followed my instructions and escaped bodily harm. After I had my senses back and functioning properly I realized what I had been screaming in my head. "You will order something and like it and you'll do it because I love you! NOW GET OUT OF THE CAR!" The scream may only have happened in my head, but most of the message was probably pretty clear...except the love part. I never thought I'd need to apologize for loving my husband. :)