More Shoes

As many of you know, I have a terrible obsession with shoes. My love reminds me of the movie The Italian Job in which one of the characters wants a home in Spain that has a room just for his shoes. While I doubt that I will ever get that far, I have become adept at finding new ways to prove that I really do need that pair of shoes.

My most recent purchase was this fine pair of sandals from Dansko. I bought them for my brother's wedding at the end of March. They went with the outfit and I figured they'd be great for the summer. As comfortable (and lovely) as they are, these sandals are not friendly to my ever-expanding body. Heels are meant to tilt your hips forward. Tilting my hips forward means tilting my belly forward. Oh, wait...it already does that on its own. After wearing these sandals at work all day I was able to appreciate the shift in a pregnant woman's center of gravity. So I had to buy new shoes.
I ordered them on Friday and they should come soon.

They are from Propet and are white (so they match a couple pairs of capris) and have a low enough heel so that I shouldn't tip over when I'm standing still. Plus, I enjoy being able to buy them at wholesale. That makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's the baby being my internal heater...

You know you watch too much TV when...

...you speak in dialogue to your family and friends. "What did you do at school today?" "The following events take place between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m."

...you interrupt conversations with family and friends by inserting a commercial break just when it's getting interesting. "...then he got down on one knee--" "Next on Eyewitness News at 10"

...you start to believe TV characters are your family and friends.

...you wonder why there's no symphony playing in the background right before you go in for a kiss. Or get scared. Or are sad. Or are happy.

...you watch a marathon of Alias on DVD. Then at work you help a customer you've never seen before who tells you her life story and you become convinced that she is a double agent trying to gain your trust so she can destroy you and everyone you love. Not that I did that. Last year.

VICTORY!!!!

Ha, ha, ha, ha! I win! Recently I posted a rant about big trucks and why I hate them. My victory has to do with number 4. They finished the work on the north side of the building I work in and now they are repaving the street on the west side and, blocking it off. This, apparently, has deterred the big stupid trucks from parking in all my favorite spots. Yesterday the evil white truck reappeared, but not until after I had parked in such a way that he could only take up two spots rather than three or four. I was still only in one spot. All hail passive-aggressive tendencies!

Impromptu Poetry

Last night on Cash Cab there was a question about haiku poetry. After having studied poetry every single year in elementary school and never being able to retain a bit of it, I developed a deep and abiding dislike for both reading and writing poems. However, I thought that writing a haiku seemed easy enough. It was, so I wrote three. Technically they are supposed to have some connection to nature or seasons, but I like writing about trivial things around me.

Please Don't Fall Off

Unexpected spot
Purple beneath my toenail
When did I do that?

School Voucher Proponent

Man in TV debate says
Schools fear parent involvement.
Thoughts dumb as his hair

Sad Passage Into Winter

Pretty black sandals
Nice and comfy on my feet
I'll miss you dearly

Maybe I should enter a contest. Or just keep my sewing job.

I Think I Have a Problem

Hi. I'm Jordan and I'm a shoe-holic. It started innocently enough when the store I work at started to carry Propet womens shoes. I was given a pair to try out and loved them. Then we started carrying more styles and I paid for one in brown. I'd never had brown Sunday shoes. I began actually looking online for more styles of these comfortable shoes. What harm could it do when I could get them at an employee discount?

I started getting into the heavy stuff when we began stocking two other brands: Born and Dansko. Every employee was given a pair of Danskos. It was then that I crossed over. These shoes were...my first. After that I started my downward spiral. Born shoes with Dryz footbed (translation: most squishy, comfy footbed EVER) became my new winter shoes. Lace-ups in soft pink leather. Another free pair of Danskos that go great with jeans. Casual walking sandals. Brown sandals. Black sandals. COMFORTABLE HEELS! (At this point imagine me with wild eyes and a rapid pulse.)

Yesterday I realized I was out of control. In one week's time I had purchased/received three pairs of shoes:

Running shoes to train for the marathon, a pair of navy Danskos the store is closing out (free again), and the gorgeous brown heels I ordered from Born a few weeks ago. Are they not beautiful? Are they not charming? "Yea, and the most joyous to the sole" (spelling intended).

I'm considering a 12 step program to conquer my addiction. I'll be happy to, so long as I can do the stepping in the shoes I love.

Why Big Trucks Are The Devil

For a long time I have been convinced that really big trucks are of the devil. Over the past several months, my feelings have proven to be more true than they should be. I will defend my rant by giving you easy-to-read points, organized in a logical manner.

1. Big trucks block others' field of vision. How many times have you come to an intersection to turn right, only to have a big truck pull up next to you and make a safe turn impossible? I'd wager it happens a lot.

2. Big trucks speed and tailgate most of the time. They also weave through traffic and do other stupid driving things. I was going to say that the only person I know who doesn't drive stupid in a big truck is my cousin. Then I remembered that he put himself in the hospital a few years back while being stupid as he drove his big truck. They just drive stupid. Tell me it's not true. That's what I thought. (Did I use the word stupid enough?)

3. Big trucks take up a lot of space. Particularly when they park on both sides of your reasonably-sized car. Speaking of parking...

4. Big trucks don't care how many spaces they take up, so long they can park. Case in point: every morning at work I try to get there early enough to claim just one of the six spaces that are the easiest to get in and out of. If I don't make it in time all six spaces are taken by no more than three big trucks. This morning they were taken by only two. The white truck took up four all by itself. And these trucks are parked there not because the owners are customers, but because they are going to the restaurant that has way more parking than we do.

5. Big trucks are a status symbol. This is demonstrated in such practical ways as the enormous lifts owners put on them. Before long NASA will be able to launch satellites by simply having big truck drivers toss them out the window. And, much like the SUV, big trucks used to have a purpose. SUVs were for hauling large families, big trucks were for hauling big loads in the back. That purpose is completely lost on many people now. Take, for example, this conversation I overheard at church:

Scout Leader 1: So for the camp out this weekend I'll drive the boys and you can haul the camping gear.

Scout Leader 2: But...that would scratch up the finish on my truck bed.

SL1: You're joking right?

SL2: I just had it put in two weeks ago. Do you think we could borrow the bishop's truck?

That was about the time I rolled my eyes and walked away.

Today Eric and I bought running shoes. We have some extra money right now, so we paid to get nice ones. However, as soon as I got home I hopped onto the endless website (they knock $5 off the price to give you free overnight shipping) to see if I could have gotten them for cheaper. I couldn't. So I went to Zappos to check there and found I got a good deal at the shoe store. Thanks for the info, Abbie.

While at Zappos I decided to look at the ridiculously priced shoes. I kept playing around looking at silly shoes and stumbled onto a brand that seems to cater to...ladies of the night. I couldn't help myself. Here are some pictures and the customer comments that went with them. I can't help adding my own comments, either.

"Cheap shoes - For what these boots cost, I thought they would be a lot nicer. They are very cheap looking. They will be going back." Yes, cheap is how they make you look."I was looking for a high quality patent leather shoe, not too high, with plenty of attitude. However, these shoes are WAY over the top. They're just too 'Hollywood Boulevard streetwalker' for me. Wear these if you want to get noticed...but not necessarily in a good way." Bingo. Even though the first ones are worse.

These next ones are my favorite and the first I saw.

"To the top of the pole even faster - I love these shoes...they have made my tips go up at least 25% and make the trip to the top of the pole even shorter." I rest my case. I would just be afraid of falling off these shoes and breaking my neck. I guess I'll just have to keep my day job and stay home at night.

I'll Weather the Weather

Today it seems like it is officially fall. The air has become crisp and the people on the street were all wearing long sleeves. I, on the other hand, am clinging to summer. I bought two pairs of sandals at the end of spring (thank you, Dansko Employee Purchase Program!) and I am loathe to give them up. This morning while there was hail falling and I was filling up the gas tank I realized I have become one of "them." "Them" refers to the people who insist on wearing their flip flops in the middle of January. I always assumed that brain cells leaked out along with heat from their head. "Them", however, was not the thought in my head as I stood at the gas station in sandals and short sleeves, cursing the weather. "You can have my sandals when you chip them off my cold, frost-bitten toes!" I was just upset that the weather wanted me to stop wearing my open toe shoes.

At that point I had forgotten the well-known truth about Utah's weather: If you don't like it, wait five minutes. Works like a charm. Along those lines, I also enjoyed the view from my house when I got home from work.

This picture of it isn't the best, but it shows typical Utah weather. Half of the sky is beautiful and happy. The other half is grey and threatening. It's as if the forces of Good and the forces of Evil are battling for territory. I find it interesting that Evil is centered over Y mountain. I could make up several analogies to go along with that, but I will restrain myself.

An Ongoing Investigation

School started at BYU last week. This doesn't really have anything to do with me, but it does bring to mind all the times I have heard the phrase "Utah drivers suck" from BYU students. I've always taken issue with this because I am from Utah. I also think drivers from every state can be bad drivers. Lately I've taken to keeping a notebook in the car for keeping track of stupid drivers. So far the stupid drivers are 50% from Utah and 50% from other states. Not bad considering that most drivers in this city are from Utah. I figured that if I plan on spending blog space to talk about the injustice of assuming Utah drivers suck that I should have evidence to support my own theory. I'll have a dissertation on it once I have gathered all the facts.

Shoes

I have achieved the impossible. My husband is the anti-fashionista. To get new clothes he must either be surprised by them or dragged along to the store. To get him to choose anything other than a plain t-shirt and denim carpenter shorts I must beg, bribe, and/or cajole. His opinion of shoes has been that any individual needs absolutely no more than four pairs and that even that is pushing it. Those pairs are: casual shoes, church shoes, sandals, and boots (for hiking/snow). Any more than that is unnecessary. And perhaps snobby. Being a woman, I disagree. I own close to 30 pairs of shoes.

My success story begins last fall with Eric's ragged tennis shoes. I told him he was not allowed to continue wearing them through the winter. Because I work at a store that carries really good shoes, I get a sweet deal on them. We went to bornshoes.com, put "Dryz" (an insole that is so comfy it will make one drool) into the search, and had him choose a pair he thought would be acceptable. He chose these, but in a different color. I just like the artsy picture.

Once we had thrown out his nasty tennis shoes, the number of shoes in his collection had once again reached equilibrium (important to him) and all were in acceptable condition (important to me). I had my parents purchase him a pair of snow boots for Christmas. He could then use those for winter scout camp rather than military boots which make his toes cold. See what a good wife I am? We then bought him exercise shoes for the treadmill.

As we were planning for our cruise I decided to surprise him with a pair of sandals, also with the Dryz insole. By now he was so converted to Born shoes that he did not feel the need to throw away the sandals I'd bought him the summer before.

Imagine my surprise to find him looking at the Born website, scoping out shoes. Of his own free will he has decided that he wants to have a pair of shoes that are better for winter. I didn't even have to say anything. Once we buy these he will be the proud owner of two pairs of casual shoes, one pair of Sunday shoes, two pairs of sandals, and a pair of snow boots. Including his military shoes it brings the total to 9. Alas, I have no video to show my victory dance.