For sale: An almost 3 year old child with blonde curls, blue eyes, and an engaging smile.
Buyer requirements: Must be able to repeatedly say: "No. Mommy said no. Mommy said NO!" "Applesauce doesn't go on the floor." "Don't do that; it will hurt your sister!" "It's not nice to kick Mommy in the head." "That knife will hurt you!" "Go to bed." "Go back to bed." "Stay in your bed." "You need to stay in your bed." "Don't get out of your bed." "Go to sleep." "I'll take your milk away if you get out of bed." "If you get out of your bed again I'll _______." "We don't eat floor food."
Interested applicants should be able to provide for said child until I'm ready to pick her up...when she's 40.
*Disclaimer: I really hope I don't have to clarify that I am not actually selling my daughter, but there are people out there who would have me arrested for even joking about it. I'm not selling her. I still like her. When she's asleep.